Wendy said she had come over to my place in Oakland for the express purpose of getting me into bed. Maybe not for you, but it was for me at the time. Not to mention the fact that most guys can tell a great lay from a great gal.
So how do you know if maybe you slept with him just a wee bit too early? Instead of trying to trick your way into his life. And that actually is the way that most guys want it, too. Yes, we will push for sex up front, and want to jump in bed as soon as possible. Getting led on sucks. Most guys fight this inner battle with every girl they date — and I did, too. As the saying goes, wanting is almost always better than the getting. So if you can wait just a bit longer, do it.
After all, you want him to keep courting you and working to win you over. You jumped in bed too quick — Sign 1: Despite all the jokes to the contrary, most mature guys learn that easy sex is just recreational. Some of those Uh-Oh signs: He left in the middle of the night?? Slow down there, pardner — Sign 2: You start hearing all those insecure questions pop up in your head… — Can we still start a relationship?
Yeah, every girl has a bit of a freak out at some point as to whether the new romance is getting traction or not. You went a little too fast — Sign 3: You did it out of pressure It could have been him pressuring you, or just as likely — you pressuring yourself.
In reality, it never works like that. Step 1 Go easy on yourself. Or any of a dozen more meaningless insults that girls would hurl at you in the locker room or after school. Sure it was a little quick, but so what? Worse things have happened in the world.
Hopefully you had some fun, and you can at least walk away with a great memory. Step 2 Resolve to not only slow this one down, but not to let yourself get caught in the trap of continuing to compromise your timeline for intimacy. All the more reason to start things out with your boundaries firmly in place. Take some time to think it through for yourself.
You can just let it go if you want. No texting, or email, or phone. Then lay some of your cards out on the table. First, tell him what you enjoyed about your hookup. You did enjoy it, right? By putting this one up front and center, you can also calm his insecurities.
Then you want to tell him something like this: I really want to get close to you again. I really like you and want to make this special. Stick to your guns for what you want. Who knows, he might have been waiting for you to say those words. You can check out my presentation to learn more about doing this.