Are You Sexually Compatible? Sex is too individual, complex, and dynamic to be simplified like that. Recognizing that sexual compatibility can be a serious concern as well as a passing curiosity , here is a quiz that may give some idea about what makes two partners pair well — and what can lead to disappointment down the road. Was seeing your partner lust at first sight? There was an immediate attraction. For some people, physical attraction is based solely on appearance, but there are harder to explain elements of physical attraction that are powerful too.
Consider online dates who match their profile pic exactly but still disappoint the moment they walk through the door. Does she like how you smell? I have no idea. Yes, even when I could use a shower. She wants me doused in cologne. The theory is that scent can communicate information about immune system genes, facial symmetry, and even dominant behavior. The evidence for all of this, however, is still far from certain. How well do you get along outside the bedroom?
My mind drifts off at random but I remind myself to pay attention. Preoccupations about jobs, chores, and sexual prowess can get in the way of a good sexual experience for both partners, even if only one of them is preoccupied. People can often sense when their partners are distant during the act, and this can dull otherwise great sexual chemistry. Those partnerships that can talk about these stresses can make progress toward achieving more focused and then more satisfying sex.
Is she as passionate as you are? How comfortable are you discussing what you like in bed? Yep, we go there. Each partner should take some time to know what they want sexually and what their partner wants. How well do you fit together anatomically? She and I agree, we go well together. Certain parts could be a little bigger or smaller.
How often is she in the mood at the same time as you? Some days work out better than others. We always want to get busy at the same time.
Our schedules are a barrier to our sex lives. Helping around the house, compliments, or giving a massage all count too.
Believe it or not, Devore says problems with foreplay and romance often stem from differences in schedules. What kind of efforts do you put into spicing things up? None, it seems unnecessary. Like work, kids, and bills, relationships require effort and attention for the best outcomes. Similar desires, thoughtful effort, and some biological luck pay off. Maintaining this level of compatibility will probably require extra work. Even small pushes to address lackluster sex try these 10 ways to spice up your sex life can lead to fantastic improvements.
Try to figure out what the problem might be. Stress, being uncomfortable exploring and discussing sex, or simply not giving a sexual relationship some TLC are common issues. If the problem seems too big to handle, a sex therapist might be able to offer some techniques to work through incompatibility or at least provide an objective perspective on the situation. If the incompatibility is more personal or emotional, Devore says a marriage or relationship counselor is more appropriate.