David Bond is a vlogger known for his controversial videos showing him traveling all over Asia picking up women. The opinions expressed in this piece are solely his own. I actually have the entire conversation on video. The internet said it and now this guy is saying it. I was excited to go out and meet some girls after hearing this.
I had just lost weight, ended a 6-year relationship with my white girlfriend, quit my job, and recently taken a strong interest in improving my life and luck with girls — to give some context. It was myself and three other white dudes in Japan, and for the next few months me and my buddies went out about nights a week.
Two of my friends were tall, good looking and fit guys — like with abs and everything. The third guy was a skinny guy with glasses. Language barriers, cultural barriers, shame barriers, weird taboos all hit us like a bag of bricks.
One of the guys in our travel group even left the country three weeks early, even after paying a full month of rent, out of frustration — this, mind you, was one of the fit tall guys. All of this had no real meaning to me at the time. I was having fun and did meet a lot of awesome girls. Japan was just one place, right? Each country I visit I also travel with a crew, normally guys at a time, and always a racially diverse group.
Now that everyone is pissed, let me explain why I think this. That being said, telling me, a white guy, how people respond to me romantically when you yourself are not a white guy automatically makes your opinion have less weight than mine — this is obvious but often a forgotten point. Communicating with another person who does not speak your language or speaks it poorly is a challenging task that even guys who are very good with girls will struggle with. Talking slowly, removing words like determiners , and using non-verbal communication facial expression, pointing adds an entire level of challenges.
These challenges can be common with Asian girls, and is a virtual certainty with native Asian girls. Not all Asian cultures are the same, but most have commonalities that are similar or consistent in most.
Views on sex, status, interracial dating, affection in public, marriage, humor and even talking to strangers can be taboo. An example of this would be in Korea — heavy eye contact can be considered rude, and thus giving a girl eye contact may cause anxiety instead of attraction. Another example of this would be kissing or hugging in public, which is considered taboo in Japan; even established couples may not do it. This, in my opinion, is the most challenging reality of approaching and dating Asian girls.
Many Asian girls are programmed to suppress their interest in sex and intimacy, hide it or deny it. Other examples include girls covering their faces after sex or kissing, admitting they really enjoy it but feel bad as if they committed a crime. Most of this shame comes from sexually frustrated men who take out their inner sadness on women by shaming them. Any self-aware man who was once really bad with women knows that shaming women for their sexuality is a way to deal with the frustration of not being a part of it.
In many parts of the East, talking to a stranger is taboo and even scary. Take a ride on a train in Korea or Japan — pure silence. Talking to strangers is normal.
When attempting to approach or date Asian girls, often you will run into this. Even when a girl really likes you, her automatic response may be negative.
My most memorable experience of racial disadvantage was when a Korean girlfriend I had in Korea introduced me to her sister. This was a girl who I had been seeing and even traveled to different countries with. She had my photo framed in her room and called me her boyfriend. My girlfriend later told me she lied to her family and said her boyfriend was Korean.
She feared they would flip a table if they knew I was a white guy so she lied. Sometimes girls will even ask to take a selfie with you, and this fuels the delusion even more.
This has happened to me many times and my first few weeks in Asia I never missed an opportunity to approach when a girl stared at me. If an American girl stared at you, you approached her, she laughed and gave you your contact information, this would almost certainly result in a second meetup.
However looking back on all the girls I dated or slept with, I noticed absolutely ZERO of them were ever girls who were staring at me or wanted a selfie.
All of them were girls who I approached cold from clubs or during the day. How weird was that? In Western movies and music, Western people seem to always look really cool. Asians, on the other hand, have almost no positive presence in Western media. Now imagine when you go to the movies and watch films made from the other side of the globe that the characters are always flying around, saving the day, or otherwise looking really cool — and they all never wear a blue suit but instead wear a wild clothing with bright colors.
Mickey Mouse Mode is basically being a character who gets a lot of attention but none of it is romantic. Everyone stares at Mickey Mouse, everyone wants a photo with Mickey Mouse, but nobody really wants to fuck Mickey Mouse. Many Western men walk around Asia in Mickey Mouse Mode, and they leave the country long before they realize all the girls who stared had virtually no genuine romantic interest in them. Another natural thing to do is ask someone.
Maybe a guy goes on Tinder and gets a few matches, maybe he asks the girl what a good club might be. All of this sounds pretty normal and reasonable, right? Yes, but consider what type of results this style of research will yield. Obviously his results will be very biased in favor of a Western friendly places and areas. The reviews of an English written website will be that of Western people.
A great example of this is foreigners who go to Bangkok, Thailand and stay at Khaosan Road. People were not stupid for thinking the sun revolved around the earth, after all when you just LOOK UP you see the sun moving. Thinking the sun revolves around the earth is a very intuitive illusion that can only be exposed with a change in perspective.
In addition, girls are staring at you as you explore the country. He goes on Tinder and asks girls he matches with where the best bars and clubs are.
He then walks around and girls stare at him. He goes to the club and the music is great and the girls are really nice. A brilliant example of this blind spot is online dating in Vietnam. BeetTalk is an app like WeChat and has a feature where you can scan for people near you. Keep in mind that More girls are using a dating app that no Western guy even knows exists, and a small minority are using Tinder. However, on Tinder there are plenty of girls who seem excited to talk to me. These are girls who may be considered unattractive or undateable by local men, so they seek affection and romance with foreigners.
Some of them just have a thing for Western guys. You may even meet a few. One example is a girl who matched every single one of my friends on Tinder and she was all talking to each of us with equal enthusiasm. Another example was a girl my friend Josh met early on, who to be fair was quite cute.
In the next few months, I saw her easily half a dozen times, always with a different white guy. What about Asian Guys? One of the most enlightening learning experiences for me on this topic is being close friends with confident Asian men. A great example of this is my friend Jake. Jake met way more girls than I did, got more dates and slept with way more girls than I did during his stay.
It was crazy to see how many cute girls swiped right to him but left to me. One day we even wore the same clothes, even down to the same bag and GoPro, before going to our favorite spot to meet girls during the day — it was becoming quite the scientific experiment.
Looking like identical twins who weirdly wore the exact same clothes, we spent a few hours hitting on girls. The results were always the same, some girls hated me, some girls loved me.
Some girls loved Jake and some girls hated jake. We both met cute girls, had fun and got some fun videos to watch later. Jake was not the only one in my crew to do this with me. As time went by Jake was starting to go to clubs I had never been to, and some of the clubs I liked he started to hate. I decided to go with him to these clubs and had a hard time meeting girls where he had no trouble. One funny fact was the clubs I liked had way more annoying hookers roaming around where the clubs he liked had none.
The types of girls who had a thing for Asian guys went to those clubs, which explained why I had a harder time. In addition, the reason the clubs I liked had hookers was because hookers love going to clubs with Western men because most of them are naive horny tourists.
The clubs Jake liked also had way hotter girls, which was frustrating for me. In many parts of Asia, there are cultural and social norms that make it very difficult to be a confident, social and expressive man. Saving face, being obsessive with reputation and taboos against talking to strangers all act like cultural chains that keep them from attracting woman on the scale that Jake is able to do.
Also, being an Asian guy, he has access to more girls because most girls in Asia are comfortable with Asian guys. Jake can get hotter girls because the hottest girls in Asia virtually never date white guys, and the clubs and bars that worked for him are all hooker free. The only condition is behavioral — being an Asian guy who is liberated from a culture that may otherwise make him feel bad for approaching women and expressing himself fully.