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Tips for New Dominants 1. You will fuck up. To be fair, experienced Dominants will make mistakes. Intermediate Dominants will make mistakes. If you are a Dominant or think you want to be a Dominant, you will make a mistake.

Accept it and move on. The only thing that makes a mistake worse is not learning from them. Use them as opportunities to grow and learn. Talk to people about them. Figure out what went wrong then incorporate that and try not to do it again. If you act like everything you do is perfect and without flaw, then you are an idiot and whoever plays or submits to you will also be an idiot.

Because none of us are perfect. But what we can do is try to learn from the mistake and improve our skills. Beating someone does not make you a Dominant.

Any idiot can be taught how to use a flogger, cane, crop, do rope, punch, kick, etc. The list goes on. At best, it makes you a Top. For the record, there is nothing wrong with being a Top. But not every Top is a Dominant. For many people, they are completely different terms. There is much more to being a Dominant than simply engaging in play. Do not confuse with what happens in a scene as an overall relationship role. Ask as many questions as you can of who you can. For every pompous jackass out there who thinks they are too good to help out a new person, there are several more who are more than willing to assist new Dominants.

The more questions you ask of individuals the more informed you will become. There are submissives and slaves out there with a wealth of experience and knowledge who you can draw from as well. Their knowledge is just as valid as a Dominants, so talk to them.

Be realistic about who and what you are. If you give yourself a title such as Sir or Master or Mistress and you have only been in the scene a few months, prepare to be mocked and laughed at. Now, of course, you are free to refer to yourself in any way you see fit. Likewise, people are free to respond in a way that THEY see fit. Understand that there are people who go years before attaching a monicker to themselves or before the community gives them that title.

So you went to a private play party or went to a demo and saw someone do something really cool and interesting. The person doing it made it look so easy that you are sure, with your vast intelligence, that you can do it as well, right? So when you see something cool that you want to try, refer to item 3. Ask the person questions, provided their scene is over or maybe at the conclusion of the demo. If they are giving a demonstration, then they are there to answer questions, so ask them and make sure you figure out how to do that cool thing before you try it.

Real Dominants eat pussy. Real Dominants suck cock. Dominants can take it up the ass too. Sexual acts do not define a Dominant. Not all women are submissive. Not all men are Dominant. Do not default to the notion that scene orientation is defined by gender.

Many people have many different dynamics and protocols in this lifestyle. When in doubt, revert to Item 3. But when made aware of them, do not dismiss them simply because you think they are silly.

In reality, they may be. Since that is what they have decided for themselves, your opinion will have little or no impact, so complaining or whining about it will do nothing. One day you may develop dynamics or protocols that others may find strange. Think how you would want to be treated in that situation and then behave accordingly.

Not all slaves are submissives. Some Dominants do bottom. Every now and then, you will find out that said person may actually be a slave.

There are some slaves who put the most sadistic Dominants to shame. Trust me on this one. You also may see or read an account of a Dominant who likes getting flogged or caned. You may discover that you may enjoy the feel of a flogger or a cane. If that is what you like, go for it. It will NOT diminish you, except in the eyes of the petty people.

For some people, things can be more fluid then one is lead to believe. A Dominant can get the crap beat out of them and still remain a Dominant. There are times when some things are just physical. Not every Dominant is a Sadist. Not every Dominant enjoys causing a great deal of pain. Not every Dominant wants people in a pile of subbie goo. You have to develop your own style.

You have to what makes you tick and why. People are best at what truly inspires them not because of what is cool and hip. Keep an open mind. There are things as a new person that you do not like that in 2 or 3 or 10 years you will totally be into.

Be sure to try out and learn about different things. You never know what turns you off today will totally rock your socks tomorrow. So keep an open eye and an open mind. It will work to your benefit in the long run. One of the tricks to being a good Dominant if you are interested in such a thing is looking and re-examining your actions as a Dominant.

Figure out what you did and why you did it. The answers will not always come easy and they may not always be pleasant. But self-awareness and introspection are two crucial tools in a Dominants play box. Use them and use them often. It will barely teach you how to be a good Top. The Internet is filled with tons of really good information. You cannot teach yourself everything. This is a common misconception. Seek out others who are experienced and if you are so inclined, find a mentor.

Use them as a sounding board and an advice corner. Get information from as many different people as you can, then make it your own. Do not rely on sites like FetLife for your information. There is a lot more to this stuff than will ever appear on Fet. Be honest about your experience. Be honest about your experience, or lack thereof.

You will gain more respect from others that way and it will also accelerate your ability to learn. One thing about the lifestyle is usually, a honest and experienced person, Dom or sub, can smell bullshit a mile away. Try to figure out what type of Dominant you want to be and work. As mentioned previously, there are many types of Dominants.

What type you will be will be up to you. But when you find a style that fits, run with it. Endeavor to be the best you can be by learning as much as you can about that particular style, infusing your own style along with it. After all, this is your journey and your path.

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Black woman white man sex tumblr

Tips for New Dominants 1. You will fuck up. To be fair, experienced Dominants will make mistakes. Intermediate Dominants will make mistakes. If you are a Dominant or think you want to be a Dominant, you will make a mistake. Accept it and move on. The only thing that makes a mistake worse is not learning from them. Use them as opportunities to grow and learn. Talk to people about them.

Figure out what went wrong then incorporate that and try not to do it again. If you act like everything you do is perfect and without flaw, then you are an idiot and whoever plays or submits to you will also be an idiot. Because none of us are perfect. But what we can do is try to learn from the mistake and improve our skills.

Beating someone does not make you a Dominant. Any idiot can be taught how to use a flogger, cane, crop, do rope, punch, kick, etc. The list goes on. At best, it makes you a Top.

For the record, there is nothing wrong with being a Top. But not every Top is a Dominant. For many people, they are completely different terms.

There is much more to being a Dominant than simply engaging in play. Do not confuse with what happens in a scene as an overall relationship role. Ask as many questions as you can of who you can.

For every pompous jackass out there who thinks they are too good to help out a new person, there are several more who are more than willing to assist new Dominants. The more questions you ask of individuals the more informed you will become. There are submissives and slaves out there with a wealth of experience and knowledge who you can draw from as well. Their knowledge is just as valid as a Dominants, so talk to them.

Be realistic about who and what you are. If you give yourself a title such as Sir or Master or Mistress and you have only been in the scene a few months, prepare to be mocked and laughed at. Now, of course, you are free to refer to yourself in any way you see fit. Likewise, people are free to respond in a way that THEY see fit. Understand that there are people who go years before attaching a monicker to themselves or before the community gives them that title.

So you went to a private play party or went to a demo and saw someone do something really cool and interesting. The person doing it made it look so easy that you are sure, with your vast intelligence, that you can do it as well, right? So when you see something cool that you want to try, refer to item 3. Ask the person questions, provided their scene is over or maybe at the conclusion of the demo. If they are giving a demonstration, then they are there to answer questions, so ask them and make sure you figure out how to do that cool thing before you try it.

Real Dominants eat pussy. Real Dominants suck cock. Dominants can take it up the ass too. Sexual acts do not define a Dominant. Not all women are submissive. Not all men are Dominant. Do not default to the notion that scene orientation is defined by gender.

Many people have many different dynamics and protocols in this lifestyle. When in doubt, revert to Item 3. But when made aware of them, do not dismiss them simply because you think they are silly. In reality, they may be. Since that is what they have decided for themselves, your opinion will have little or no impact, so complaining or whining about it will do nothing. One day you may develop dynamics or protocols that others may find strange.

Think how you would want to be treated in that situation and then behave accordingly. Not all slaves are submissives. Some Dominants do bottom. Every now and then, you will find out that said person may actually be a slave. There are some slaves who put the most sadistic Dominants to shame. Trust me on this one. You also may see or read an account of a Dominant who likes getting flogged or caned.

You may discover that you may enjoy the feel of a flogger or a cane. If that is what you like, go for it. It will NOT diminish you, except in the eyes of the petty people. For some people, things can be more fluid then one is lead to believe. A Dominant can get the crap beat out of them and still remain a Dominant.

There are times when some things are just physical. Not every Dominant is a Sadist. Not every Dominant enjoys causing a great deal of pain. Not every Dominant wants people in a pile of subbie goo.

You have to develop your own style. You have to what makes you tick and why. People are best at what truly inspires them not because of what is cool and hip. Keep an open mind. There are things as a new person that you do not like that in 2 or 3 or 10 years you will totally be into.

Be sure to try out and learn about different things. You never know what turns you off today will totally rock your socks tomorrow. So keep an open eye and an open mind. It will work to your benefit in the long run. One of the tricks to being a good Dominant if you are interested in such a thing is looking and re-examining your actions as a Dominant. Figure out what you did and why you did it. The answers will not always come easy and they may not always be pleasant.

But self-awareness and introspection are two crucial tools in a Dominants play box. Use them and use them often.

It will barely teach you how to be a good Top. The Internet is filled with tons of really good information. You cannot teach yourself everything. This is a common misconception.

Seek out others who are experienced and if you are so inclined, find a mentor. Use them as a sounding board and an advice corner. Get information from as many different people as you can, then make it your own. Do not rely on sites like FetLife for your information. There is a lot more to this stuff than will ever appear on Fet.

Be honest about your experience. Be honest about your experience, or lack thereof. You will gain more respect from others that way and it will also accelerate your ability to learn.

One thing about the lifestyle is usually, a honest and experienced person, Dom or sub, can smell bullshit a mile away. Try to figure out what type of Dominant you want to be and work. As mentioned previously, there are many types of Dominants. What type you will be will be up to you. But when you find a style that fits, run with it.

Endeavor to be the best you can be by learning as much as you can about that particular style, infusing your own style along with it. After all, this is your journey and your path.

Black woman white man sex tumblr

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