These are new writings, not previously released in the books original form. The book hits stores today. I should warn you the book is very plain spoken and blunt. This first piece is taken from a chapter about dating: I want to talk about the two dominant forces that draw you to the opposite sex. The first is the desire to reproduce. This is what your body wants.
The second is the desire for redemption. This is what your soul wants. At a young age your hormones were going crazy. We think we are in love but the truth is, we are in lust. We just want to have sex.
But look around, look at how many couples are unhappy. So many of them got married because they wanted sex, not because they wanted the responsibility of taking care of another person and a family. The other force is the desire for redemption.
Psychologists theorize that we are deeply attracted what feels like romantic love to the negative characteristics of our primary caretakers. According to this theory, what you are really feeling is the desire to go back in time to when you were a baby and fix the relationship you had with your parents.
Your subconscious recognizes the other person as having your parents characteristics, and takes your subconscious back to childhood. Your subconscious brain thinks that person is your mommy or daddy. If your father had a bad temper, you might be attracted to a person with a bad temper.
If your mother was controlling, you are going to be drawn to a mroe controlling person. And the whole time you are going to think you are madly in love, that this other person is going to complete you.
The greater the passion, oftentimes, the greater the let down. But I actually think this theory bears a lot of truth. But what do you do with this? When you fall in love, ask yourself what it is that is drawing you to this person. Is it that they are controlling or have anger issues? In fact, relationships, while rewarding, actually make life harder. They will bless your life, but they will bless your life through sacrifice. If you go into a relationship hoping to give love, hoping to create some of the security the other person is looking for, you are better off and your relationship stands a chance.
But it will be realistic love, not redemption. Does she like what I like, is he easy to talk to, is she a good friend? In other words, does this relationship have the stuff of terrific friendship? That narrows the field considerably. But I promise you, people who know what they want and are choosy about their mates are infinitely more attrative to the opposite sex.
Be choosy and I assure you people will be more drawn to you. I wish somebody would have told me that when I was a kid. Thanks so much for your interest, and for allowing me the plug! I actually think we are attracted to the opposite because we are just built to do so. I guess it it is true that we are attracted to certain traits such as a controlling personalities or arrogant ones. Not sure about about why some people are attracted to their same sex, though.
I was hoping to find a more idealistic view of why we are attracted to people in this post. Beware when opposites attract! It really calmed me down from one of my hormonal fits. I definitely know what I want out of life and a partner, but my loins are usually in the drivers seat so I end up in unhappy situations.