Can you fix a sexless marriage. 7 Ways To Save Your Sexless Marriage, According To Sex Therapists.



Can you fix a sexless marriage

Can you fix a sexless marriage

Chris Black via Getty Images Want to get on this couple's level? In a sexual rut with your partner? Below, sex therapists share seven pieces of advice that have worked for real couples they've counseled through the years.

Don't assume your spouse is uninterested in having sex. Don't jump to conclusions about your partner's sex drive without consulting him or her. Take the time to reach out, said New York City-based sex therapist Gracie Landes , pointing to the example of a client who assumed her husband was disinterested in sex based off another therapist's observation.

Acknowledge any resentment you may feel related to intimacy -- then, take turns initiating sex. Once the couple is back in the practice of acknowledging each other's needs, Ghose tells them to take turns initiating sex. Photodisc via Getty Images Add sex to your calendar and consider creating "sex menus" based on what you like.

You schedule your kids' playdates, your doctor's appointments and acupuncture visits. I often have couples create sex menus that they can choose from, based on interests.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that people want to do more of what feels good. Talk about your fantasies. Too often, people in long-term relationships keep their latest sexual fantasies and interests to themselves, said Ghose.

I tell couples to have a heart-to-heart with each other. Sharing their secret fantasies and fetishes helps in the bedroom but it also builds a stronger sense of connection, which fosters deeper intimacy. Learn to work around any sexual dysfunction.

Sexual dysfunction including erectile dysfunction , premature ejaculation or a lack of vaginal lubrication often makes partners apprehensive about initiating sex, said Laurel Steinberg, a psychotherapist based in Great Neck, New York. Get out of your head and into your body. Thomas Barwick via Getty Images Get out of your head and really connect with your spouse.

When you've been in your head all day because of work, it can be a struggle to connect with your body and tap into your sexual energy with your spouse. To address this problem, Kristin Zeising , a sex therapist in San Diego, California, tells couples to practice tuning into their bodies and being hyper conscious of subtle sexual cues from their partners.

You will get the most benefits out of the interaction with your partner if you are present in your body to experience it, not stuck up in your head.

Stop worrying about orgasms. For couples stressed over the state of their sex lives, Ghose likes to remind them that having an orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of sex.

Encouraging other types of intimacy, that are less intimidating and have less pressure can ease the couple back into great sex.

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Dr. Phil on How to Save a Sexless Marriage



Can you fix a sexless marriage

Chris Black via Getty Images Want to get on this couple's level? In a sexual rut with your partner? Below, sex therapists share seven pieces of advice that have worked for real couples they've counseled through the years.

Don't assume your spouse is uninterested in having sex. Don't jump to conclusions about your partner's sex drive without consulting him or her. Take the time to reach out, said New York City-based sex therapist Gracie Landes , pointing to the example of a client who assumed her husband was disinterested in sex based off another therapist's observation. Acknowledge any resentment you may feel related to intimacy -- then, take turns initiating sex.

Once the couple is back in the practice of acknowledging each other's needs, Ghose tells them to take turns initiating sex.

Photodisc via Getty Images Add sex to your calendar and consider creating "sex menus" based on what you like. You schedule your kids' playdates, your doctor's appointments and acupuncture visits. I often have couples create sex menus that they can choose from, based on interests.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that people want to do more of what feels good. Talk about your fantasies. Too often, people in long-term relationships keep their latest sexual fantasies and interests to themselves, said Ghose. I tell couples to have a heart-to-heart with each other. Sharing their secret fantasies and fetishes helps in the bedroom but it also builds a stronger sense of connection, which fosters deeper intimacy.

Learn to work around any sexual dysfunction. Sexual dysfunction including erectile dysfunction , premature ejaculation or a lack of vaginal lubrication often makes partners apprehensive about initiating sex, said Laurel Steinberg, a psychotherapist based in Great Neck, New York.

Get out of your head and into your body. Thomas Barwick via Getty Images Get out of your head and really connect with your spouse. When you've been in your head all day because of work, it can be a struggle to connect with your body and tap into your sexual energy with your spouse. To address this problem, Kristin Zeising , a sex therapist in San Diego, California, tells couples to practice tuning into their bodies and being hyper conscious of subtle sexual cues from their partners.

You will get the most benefits out of the interaction with your partner if you are present in your body to experience it, not stuck up in your head. Stop worrying about orgasms. For couples stressed over the state of their sex lives, Ghose likes to remind them that having an orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of sex.

Encouraging other types of intimacy, that are less intimidating and have less pressure can ease the couple back into great sex.

Can you fix a sexless marriage

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4 Comments

  1. Knowing that only good can come from facing hard things and doing what you need to do will keep you moving forward with your marriage no matter what problems arise. Don't assume your spouse is uninterested in having sex. Try not to be defensive when you hear certain things from your spouse, because they are important to fixing your marriage.

  2. Acknowledge any resentment you may feel related to intimacy -- then, take turns initiating sex.

  3. Guys are competitive and if they aren't interested in sex or it isn't working, they don't talk about it. A better future is closer than you think. You need to develop new habits and rituals in your marriage in order to have a different relationship, so a therapist can help you do that.

  4. According to data experts, searches for 'sexless marriage' are almost four times more common than searches for 'loveless marriage.

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