Feature The New Position on Casual Sex The rise of Internet dating has brought a sexual openness not to mention one-night stands to the younger generation not seen since the seventies heyday of Maxwell's Plum. But can there be too much of a good thing? ShareThis Jessica Martin was in the mood for adventure. She cranked the Hives on her stereo, rolled a Drum cigarette, and stood in front of her bathroom mirror, the digital camera her parents got her for her birthday resting on the sink.
Petite and curvy, with big eyes and a black bob -- Betty Boop working the electroclash look -- the year-old technical writer pouted. She tweezed her eyebrows. She put a barrette in her hair. Finally, she held the camera at chest level and aimed at her reflection. I'm just an old-fashioned girl," says Jessica or so she wants to be called , though it must be said, she's nothing if not au courant.
With a deep voice and an irrepressible laugh, she's the girl who hangs out with the guys, an adrenaline junkie from Fort Greene whose fashion philosophy is of the body-as-palette variety. I wanted to look sultry and mysterious, a little jaded, like I know too much for my own good, very Catherine Keener or young Faye Dunaway. I will eat you for dinner and go out for ribs afterwards. If this is not you, but your older brother or co-worker, let me know. I'll pay a referral fee in flautas if I at least get some nookie out of the arrangement.
No sex, please -- we're married! Between the kids and the economy, it's no surprise that New Yorkers' libidos are shrinking faster than their k s. June 13, Naked City: The Sex and the City revolution has made plenty of men nervous. But when a trusted friend is nowhere to be found at the moment of truth, a young stud wants answers. July 15, Hook Up! Within seconds, her ad was live. I guess it's the me I want to be. As much as I hope there's some lurking jewel out there, right now, I'm just lonely, curious, and horny.
At the turn of , only a few of my more desperate or socially inept friends had their own online personal ads. These days, I'd be hard-pressed to find one who hasn't at least dabbled in the genre. A recent casual foray into a few dating sites yielded two work colleagues, an editor I briefly dated, three people from a high-school summer acting program bizarre , and one stand-up comic who dumped me because I "wasn't funny enough. Just as during the sexual revolution, when it was discovered that having sex before marriage didn't necessarily mean you'd end up emotionally damaged or consigned to eternal damnation, these days hooking up over the Internet is less Oliver Jovanovic and more Paris Hilton.
Though a lot of people are certainly searching for soulmates online, it's also become a way, in Jessica's words, to "widen your sexual circle. Women, in other words, get to act like men. For women, Internet dating is providing the version of the zipless fuck, unapologetically no-strings-attached, purely sexual experience. But you know what? It is the people you see out in the scene. She didn't even try to deny it. Do you think I should go on a date?
These days, there's a dating service for every demographic some with the emphasis on dating, some on servicing , from racy Nerve to randy CraigsList once known primarily as the place to find good no-fee apartments to the personals on this magazine's Website and in our back pages. All of this activity has been rebranded with a new post-moral moniker, "play.
No one is interested in lengthy e-mail courtships: People want to meet right away to see if there's chemistry, so you'd better be as advertised, and that photo better be from this decade -- though "no one ever looks like their photo," complains Jessica. That ice-queen thing is me -- it's the part of me I'd like to flaunt more. That's what led a year-old newspaper editor to post her ad, at the beginning of December.
It had funny lines, like the best lie ever told: I will never, ever do this again. Lie about it, I mean. I certainly hope to actually do it again! I want to fuck you. I had the best sex of my life with one of them -- he discovered my G spot, which I didn't even know I had, I swear.
I was like, 'This is what they're talking about in Cosmo.