However, that will not stop me from using a little GIF-magic to illustrate approximately what I imagine 50 Shades of Grey would've looked like had Charlie Hunnam not backed out of the project to "focus on the final season of Sons of Anarchy," which had finished filming by the time the 50 Shades shoot had begun. This, I suspect, is what Hunnam's movie would've looked like.
Please let me know if you are unhappy with this version. I'm a very serious, contemplative man who ponders life while I look at myself in the mirror. But I'm also a fun-time boy, who likes to get his picture taken without my shirt. Shirts irritate my skin. Do you like me without my shirt? You must be Anastasia Steele. Please sign this contract. In exchange, I will slowly remove your underwear.
And prepare breakfast on your supple behind. Do you like when strangers watch? That can be arranged. I will make love to you in the most romantic of all places. Then we will make love on the bed like common people. Do you like submission? Because I like to be on top. This position is also helpful. He can get close-ups of my buttocks. I will dominate you. With my firm buttocks. But please do not tickle. It is a weakness of mine. Afterward, I will shower, and contemplate life once again.
Then I will brag to all my friends, and tell them that I ravaged you with my firm buttocks, Anastasia Steele. It will be a story for the ages. Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba.
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