Cara Sprunk January 18, at 8: I've slept with six people. At 20 I feel that's a lot. However, four were from committed, year-long relationships.
As for the other two, I was hooking up with both of them for a good amount of time. I wish I had less because I feel, as a girl, six sounds bad. For a guy, it's not bad. I hate the double standard. I have personally only slept with my long-term boyfriend but I know many women who have yet to have a steady relationship but still sleep with men or women.
I don't care how many people they've slept with as long as it's safe and consensual and I think most people should look at it that way. I feel totally comfortable letting people know I've only slept with my boyfriend because that's important to me. In fact, I've had more people judge me for only sleeping with him. To each their own. I used to regret some of my sexual experiences, but now that I have settled down with an amazing man that I plan to marry someday, I feel like the past ones don't really matter and just allow me to appreciate my current partner even more.
Mainly because many of them were, not mistakes per-se but they weren't people that care about me and my life. I've had easily over 45 sexual partners, and that's probably not counting the mistaken drunken hookups senior year of high school and freshman year of college. The last few men in my life have been the most important ones and when they bring this conversation up it's embarrassing to tell them I had so many wild days and nights.
I'd rather tell them I had a number in single digits like them so they wouldn't look at me in such a disapproving manner. I enjoy talking about sex positivity and talking about sex as a pleasurable experience, not one that carries guilt or negative feelings.
I don't think people should feel pressured into being in a relationship, having sex, or falling in love right now. College is a time to really find yourself and I know that it'll happen for me when the time is right. I've only ever slept with one person but at this point in my life I wish I'd had more because I feel like it's a turnoff whenever I tell guys and try to sleep with them because if I'm ever drunk they get too nervous or they assume I want a long-term thing when really I'm just trying to have fun like they are.
Sexuality is something that should be celebrated, as long as you're going about it safely, no matter if you've had one or hundreds of partners. Personally, I've only had sex with one person.
I had my reasons for decisions about both situations. Never be ashamed of something you had total control of! If my number was bigger, I think I'd still feel this way. And I'm happy with the number of partners because they were all consensual and I like to think each partner helped me grow sexually and vice versa.
It's freeing and invigorating, and incredibly interesting. There's so much to learn It's definitely something you have to get good at, and then it's so much fun!
I am comfortable with my number because the guys I got with were not random. I would say that I'm extremely picky, but there will definitely be more guys. I have had 12 sexual partners, and I don't wish I had more or less because it's simply a number.
As long as we continue to focus on safe, consensual sexual encounters there is really no reason to focus on the number of partners you choose to have so people should not be ashamed to talk about it. You don't want a person to know much you make so they can judge you solely off of a number. In the same respect, you don't want someone knowing your number whether it be small or large so they can make their own assumptions about who you are because of some digit.
I have had five partners in my lifetime and with that being said some people may find this number to be too high and others might find this number to be decent, but their opinion does not matter. Only mine does and in terms of being comfortable, if I could change it, I would have wished that I only had one partner.
This partner was the only one that truly showed me what it was like to be in love and taught me that when I have that same feeling for another person the way I did for him, that is when I know I am ready.
I tell almost-strangers my number it's Not all of these were positive experiences; actually, most of them weren't, but I don't regret any of them. I really think I've learned something from each of these times. There are so many different circumstances surrounding sex that judging someone based off a digit or two is beyond ridiculous and unfair. I remember reading an article the movie What's Your Number was loosely based off of it in which a number of women talked about their number, what it meant to them and how proud they were of it.
These numbers ranged from 0 to and it was so empowering