Beyond submission — what if the woman wants anal sex? Is it ok for a Christian couple to engage in anal sex? That is a word made up in the English language.
Most people today when they hear the word sodomy think of one of two things — homosexual acts especially between two or more men or anal sex. But the definition of sodomy in English is broader than this and includes oral sex or anal sex even between a man and woman. Abraham asked for God to spare Lot and his family so the angels went there to get them.
If we look at Genesis 19 it is when one man forcibly has anal sex with another man. However from time to time even the KJV translators would take liberties with certain phrases and this unfortunately is one of those cases. Often these were not just prostitutes but they were in fact male sex slaves.
Would it be true that often times these men did engage in homosexual sex acts with other men? But they could also engage in sex acts with wealthy women as well so in the truest sense their activities were bisexual in nature. Now the argument I have just made is one that many advocates of homosexuality make to discount Biblical prohibitions against homosexuality. But just because the Hebrew words behind Sodom and Sodomite do not specifically refer to homosexual acts this does not mean the Bible does not clearly condemn homosexual acts.
Make no mistake that it does. God condemns homosexual acts between men in the book of Leviticus: Sodomy is never found in the Bible and even if the roots of this English word refers to the wickedness of Sodom it does not refer simply to anal sex.
Instead it would refer to men forcibly having anal sex with other men — in other words one man raping another man. In a broader sense Sodomy might refer to all types of wickedness that were practice in Sodom including homosexuality, whoremongering, prostitution and rape. The word Sodom refers to the name of a Biblical city and has nothing specifically to do with sexual sins. The word Sodomite is a mistranslation of the Hebrew word for male temple prostitute and while these prostitutes may have engaged in anal sex they also engaged in many other sex acts including normal sexual intercourse.
So if someone wants to say anal sex is condemned because the Bible condemns sodomites they would be incorrect in that connection. The Bible in these cases is condemning the rape of men and men being prostitutes.
So is anal sex ok for Christian married couples to engage in? But this is not the case. I believe there is a Biblical case to be made against Christian couples engaging in anal sex whether it is because the woman wants to, the man wants to or they both want to. Also I just want to say that anyone who knows me and has read my writings knows that I try to be very careful not to add to the law of God.
For instance I am one of the few Bible believing Christian bloggers online that takes the position that the use of porn is not always sinful and can in fact be helpful to Christian men and women in many ways if used correctly.
Even though there is no specific passage of Scripture that condemns the production of nude images or the use of porn contrary to those who try and use Matthew 5: So I am sensitive to the fact that when I say I believe anal sex is wrong I could be accused of doing exactly the same thing that I say Christian opponents of porn are doing. So with all that being said as an introduction to the topic of anal sex let me now show you why I believe the Scripture condemn anal sex as a practice even between a husband and wife within the bounds of marriage.
Where does the Bible condemn anal sex? Some of these wicked activities are condemned by broader condemnations and by broader Biblical principles. We know we should not break the speed limit not because of some specific Bible command against it but because of the broader teaching of passages like this one from I Peter 2: The Bible does give the right and responsibility for parents to use corporal punishment on their children: We discipline our children out of love for them and looking out for their wellbeing: He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
No child, no wife, no human being is called by God to endure physical abuse simply because the person is in authority. Some say a wife should just take physical abuse based on passages like this: This is not talking about a wife enduring bloody beatings from her husband because he comes home angry and wants a punching bag.
It also does not forbid Christians from fleeing persecution even for the Gospel when they can: In the same way I believe that while the Bible does not specifically mention anal sex there are Biblical principles that would in fact condemn anal sex. What Biblical principles condemn anal sex? Some Christians make an argument against anal sex based on the health risks it presents.
Some of these health risks are laid out in this article from WebMD: Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. This can result in the spread of sexually transmitted infections including HIV. Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure. Exposure to the human papillomavirus HPV may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer.
The tissue inside the anus is not as well protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection.
The tissue inside the anus does not have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection. The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we defecate.
When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult. Repetitive anal sex may lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. However, Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it. The anus is full of bacteria. Even if both partners do not have a sexually-transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Practicing vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.
The Bible speaks of our bodies belonging to God: It is an activity less dangerous than motorcycle riding, and like motorcycle riding there are prudent measures that can mitigate the risks and make the activity safer and enjoyable.
Is it a sin for a husband to want his wife to ride on the back of his motorcycle? The other ditch is to ignore those risks altogether, refusing prudent measures, this is loveless concern on the part of the husband. The same risks could be said about consuming pork. Pork could be dangerous if not properly cooked, it makes many people uncomfortable to eat an unclean animal and has been associated with health risks like heart disease.
If a husband asks his wife to do something and she does not want to do it simply because it has any kind of risk is she ok refusing? What if a couple wants to go skydiving? That certainly is risky? So I agree with Jonadab that simply because something is risky that does not make that activity wrong.
The argument I make against anal sex goes beyond the risk factor — it goes to the heart of the issue which is design. I marvel at the beautiful and distinctive ways in which God made men and women for their distinctive roles in his creation. Design is why most women could never be a fire fighter and why few women could ever pass the vigorous tests of being a Navy seal. It is why men typically excel over women at heavy labor jobs and why men are less prone to physical injury than women.
Design is why most women can so naturally care for the needs of an infant and intuitively know what that child needs where most men would struggle in this area. Design is why most women need to feel beautiful and why most men could care less about their outward appearance. Design is why most men love vigorous competitions of all kinds while most women simplify love to talk and share their feelings with their friends. He did not design the male body for sex with another male body and he did not design the female body for sex with another female body.
When men have sex with men they are going against the natural design of their bodies and when women have sex with women they are going against the natural design of their bodies. But when a man has sex with a woman — he and this woman are now using their bodies in ways that God designed them to be used.
But even when a man has sexual relations with a woman I do not believe that anyone can make an argument from a medical and biological perspective that God designed the anus for penetration during sexual relations. Unlike the much tougher linings of the mouth and the vagina the anus has a very thin lining that is easily torn and can bleed and become infected.
The pain of anal sex Anal sex is naturally painful — even with lubrication because the anus was NOT meant for penetration. Now just because something is painful does not mean it is necessarily a bad thing to do that thing. When a person lifts weights or does any type of strenuous exercise or hard labor often their muscles ache because the muscles are torn and stretched by that exercise.
When the muscles heal from this tearing they become stronger. When a mother gives birth it is certainly painful. Even before sin God did not design child birth to a painless process any more than he designed people exercising and thus tearing and stretching their muscles to be a painless exercise.
No one would argue that the pain from exercise, hard labor or child birth means these activities are wrong to do. But then there is another type of pain. This type of pain is a pain that acts as warning to us. As small children we may have touched something that was hot only to have it burn our fingers.
This served to warn us that our skin is not made for touching things with high temperatures. In same way people often experience internal pains which tells them something is wrong. It is this warning type of pain that a person experiences when they allow their anus to be penetrated. The pain we experience as human beings when our anus is penetrated cannot be compared to the pain a person experiences when they exercise, do hard labor, when a woman loses her virginity or when a woman has a baby.
But when we touch a hot stove with our hand or when a woman feels pain when her anus is penetrated these are warning pains that God gave us to tell us that our skin was not designed for extreme heat and that our anus was not designed for penetration.
The argument for anal sex from existence of dual purpose body parts Now that we have addressed the issue of the design of the anus not be fitting for penetration for intercourse both from a functional perspective as well as from a pain perspective we will lastly address the argument that anal sex is ok because it may serve a dual purpose as other body parts do.
For instance, the mouth is used for many functions such as eating speaking, breathing etc. If I said that the mouth was designed for eating so you should not kiss with it, you would probably disagree.