I originally wrote this article seven years ago. At the time I had not fully come to understand my purpose. Looking back I can see how the tone and wording can be hurtful to some. As well as hinder my ability to truly provide some clarity and assistance with an issue you and many others may be facing.
So today I am going to do some revisions. It was very interesting to see what was listed. I can acknowledge there was a lot of truth to it. However, I decided I wanted to do a blog on this topic and put in my own two cents. So below, I will list the reasons the article stated and respond with my views to it. Part of his depression might be due to the lack of sex he has already been previously experiencing with his wife. Regardless, if he is clinically depressed then that is a completely different story, and that should be tended to accordingly.
He is no longer attracted to his wife Now this I completely agree with. The article mentions how nagging, always putting him down, and just being an overall source of a lot of negative energy contributes to a man desiring his wife less.
She also correctly points out that weight gain and changes in appearance contribute to the issue. For most men, sex is not as connected to love as it is for women. A man can love you forever, but putting on many undesirable pounds of weight key word is undesirable, because some men may like the extra weight will make it harder for him to sexually desire you.
So please do not get the two confused. I know it can be tough for many, but with the right effort, this is a fixable issue in most cases. He may be having an affair Unfortunately I would have to agree that this is a possibility.
I do not think it is the reason you should first explore, but when all else fails then this should be examined. I cannot condone cheating on your wife for any reason. However, the point can be made that if he is having one, there is a good chance your actions or lack thereof have contributed to this occurring. Before you get all up in arms, I want to reiterate that an affair is never right.
I believe if the other reasons that have been listed and will be listed in this blog are remedied, then it will go a long way in decreasing the chances of an affair occurring. Again, that person is dead wrong for stepping outside the marriage. Be willing to address the issue with a willingness to make corrections on both sides.
As in he is engaging in too much masturbation. This issue can definitely contribute to him feeling less concerned with initiating or accepting sexual contact with you. So that may need to be discussed as well. Wrongly accuse him, and you may end up with a new issue on your hands. With that said, it is a still a reality that you unknowingly may be facing. Either way, this is definitely one issue you have no control over.
Proceed with caution, and in the case where it ends up to be true, do not internalize the issue. Seriously, I do not want to dismiss the possibility of there actually being a medical condition. The article mentions a few possibilities. A common overlooked one may be erectile dysfunction. This could most certainly cause him to shy away from intimacy. Understand that if you have been married for many years, and you have repeatedly shut this man down when he wanted sex, this will have a damaging affect on him.
He may then turn to other ways of getting his satisfaction see 3. Weight gain and unhealthy eating This is absolutely true and a very common issue. If he is gaining weight and eating bad, then he is probably out of shape and therefore is too tired to deal with sex regularly too much work.
I definitely believe if you can get him to buy into taking better care of himself and getting in better shape, that it will increase the desire for sexual activity and his ability to perform at a higher level.
Also there are a lot of natural supplements available to help with this issue. Definitely do some research and see what he may be open to. One more thing in regards to exercise. A lot of men may go to the gym and lift weights, and that can certainly help. This can have a great impact on his libido and stamina. Which will create great benefits for the both of you. Have you really taken time to find out what he really wants in the bedroom?
Also, it can create resentment when someone feels their desires get overlooked and neglected. You will need to change that, as well as find ways to truly be more into the experience yourself. This will give him the push he needs to be more consistent, and desire you more, as well as help keep you motivated and willing to participate.
So there you have it, I hope this sheds some light on the issue for the many of you suffering from this. There are a lot more women than we think that are dealing with this problem. It can open doors to worse things and eventually destroy that marriage. So though I make jokes from time to time this is a serious issue that I would like to see improved. Better relationships will contribute to better marriages, which then contributes to a better society.