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Article Banner Ad for Desktop Article Banner Ad for Mobile It was the winter of my televised technicolor wonder-pop glittery discontent, when everything in the real world felt cold and sad and I sought refuge in the unreal. This meant not only internalizing messages about what it meant to do womanhood properly but what to avoid, too, and those messages were far more subtle.

Sometimes those messages were hopelessly brief, but nevertheless resonated eternally. The singular message that scared me away from lesbianism was delivered, it turns out, in less than six minutes, and I was laughing the whole time.

It was , you see, and my image of the modern lesbian was pretty stereotypical — dumpy, unstylish, short-haired. But back then, as an awkward gawky teenager struggling to fit in, that image was downright petrifying and bore no resemblance to my own aspirational existence.

The only famous lesbians I knew of were The Indigo Girls. So I was pretty vulnerable, you could say, to suggestion. Which brings me to Noreen. I had this vague sense that there was a character, or more than one, I knew as a teenager who made lesbians seem really pathetic and gross. Her male classmates look on with slack-jawed awe as she summarily passes each one of them by in the hallway until reaching the final body in line to admire hers — Noreen, of course. If you like that sort of thing.

So… can I carry your books to class? Your hair smells like strawberries At the aforementioned sleepover, the two girls lie in bed next to each other. They jet, and Noreen starts sobbing until another tall blonde girl comes by to offer her Kleeenex. Noreen looks up at the new blonde, lustfully. I watched this movie so many times. It was one of my favorites. The scenes I just talked about made me laugh at the time, and they make me laugh now, too.

I still love it. Gay men seemed cool, but lesbians? When Rachel was thrilled to share her anecdote about kissing a girl in college but horrified when that girl confessed a longstanding crush on her? All of these shows and movies were progressive in their own way, and many were incredibly gay-friendly.

I enjoyed, and still enjoyed, all of those movies. I think Noreen would read very differently now, and probably does to anybody seeing the movie for the first time. I left that movie theater a different person then when I walked in. Janis Ian is supposed to be an uncool loser, but the viewer is aware that she is actually awesome. But nope, Janis just hates Regina because they used to be best friends and then Regina started being an asshole and telling everyone Janis was a lesbian.

So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said.

And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then… Oh yeah, Cady — you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash.

I am so sorry Regina.

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This 82-year-old woman has the sex drive of a teenager



Fat lesbian girls having sex

Article Banner Ad for Desktop Article Banner Ad for Mobile It was the winter of my televised technicolor wonder-pop glittery discontent, when everything in the real world felt cold and sad and I sought refuge in the unreal.

This meant not only internalizing messages about what it meant to do womanhood properly but what to avoid, too, and those messages were far more subtle.

Sometimes those messages were hopelessly brief, but nevertheless resonated eternally. The singular message that scared me away from lesbianism was delivered, it turns out, in less than six minutes, and I was laughing the whole time. It was , you see, and my image of the modern lesbian was pretty stereotypical — dumpy, unstylish, short-haired. But back then, as an awkward gawky teenager struggling to fit in, that image was downright petrifying and bore no resemblance to my own aspirational existence.

The only famous lesbians I knew of were The Indigo Girls. So I was pretty vulnerable, you could say, to suggestion. Which brings me to Noreen. I had this vague sense that there was a character, or more than one, I knew as a teenager who made lesbians seem really pathetic and gross.

Her male classmates look on with slack-jawed awe as she summarily passes each one of them by in the hallway until reaching the final body in line to admire hers — Noreen, of course. If you like that sort of thing. So… can I carry your books to class? Your hair smells like strawberries At the aforementioned sleepover, the two girls lie in bed next to each other. They jet, and Noreen starts sobbing until another tall blonde girl comes by to offer her Kleeenex. Noreen looks up at the new blonde, lustfully.

I watched this movie so many times. It was one of my favorites. The scenes I just talked about made me laugh at the time, and they make me laugh now, too. I still love it. Gay men seemed cool, but lesbians? When Rachel was thrilled to share her anecdote about kissing a girl in college but horrified when that girl confessed a longstanding crush on her?

All of these shows and movies were progressive in their own way, and many were incredibly gay-friendly. I enjoyed, and still enjoyed, all of those movies. I think Noreen would read very differently now, and probably does to anybody seeing the movie for the first time.

I left that movie theater a different person then when I walked in. Janis Ian is supposed to be an uncool loser, but the viewer is aware that she is actually awesome. But nope, Janis just hates Regina because they used to be best friends and then Regina started being an asshole and telling everyone Janis was a lesbian.

So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her.

And then… Oh yeah, Cady — you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. I am so sorry Regina.

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