Next, as she matured, came one on self-discovery and her book on the challenges of staying married. Did she get answers. How do you feel about sexuality now and did you find a common thread among the older women you interviewed? Over 35 years, thousands of people have told me the most intimate details of their lives. Women have talked to me about shattering the myth that after menopause you have low libido.
These women were enjoying more sexual satisfaction and intimacy than they did in their youth. I love growing older. I feel more youthful and energetic and hopeful than ever. I talked to young people who were shocked at old ladies having sex. I think the surprise for me was also about the power of intimacy over the power of sex.
But you also say that sex is a bridge to intimacy. So one can lead the other and vice versa? Sex is never just sex. One of the experts you quote, Dr. These women are vibrant and strong and care about sex. You really need to put sex on your to-do list. People have to remember to be sexual. Sexuality matters to us until the day we die. How we manifest that is different for every woman.
There is no gold standard. There is no perfect sex life. What matters the most is how you feel about your sexuality, your level of desire and your libido. You want to communicate your sexual expectations, desires and performance levels to your partner and for your partner to be on the same page. There were a few women I interviewed who were in intimate relationships with men whose libido matched theirs. They had zero interest in sex and were happy just hiking in the woods.
Some women just never thought of pleasuring themselves. They grew up feeling it was naughty and had a lot of guilt about it. For them, this is a new adventure. Vibrator sales are huge. I can tell you that a big chunk of that industry is sales to women over Is that a word you made up?
What does it mean exactly? Outercourse is a word that I heard over and over again among people active in the sexuality-and-aging field. One year old woman attended a Tantric sex workshop with her husband where they were exploring conscious loving, not just slam-bam sex. Their ability to perform changes with age, too, and, as you point out, after prostate surgery.
Everyone is so anxious in this world. One of the most profound messages in my book is to pick the right person in the first place. Prostate issues are really important. I interviewed one of the top urologists in the country, Dr. Soloway is a big proponent of active surveillance.
Does that sensation weaken in men, too? Men get an erection from blood flow. Instead of going to a physician and getting five prescriptions, get on a treadmill buddy and stop eating the fettuccine with five-cheese sauces! Give it a try. As I get older, I eat less and I exercise more. Find it on Amazon.