But thanks to the Internet and porn giants like San Francisco-based Kink. Kink and Fetish These are the broadest terms on this list because, colloquially, they have become synonymous for most people.
But since some kinksters kinky people stress their difference, we will define them separately. A fetish is a bit more particular. Fetishes are generally considered nonhuman objects that enhance sexual arousal, and for some people, they may be required for sexual arousal. Sadism is sexual arousal that arises from inflicting pain on others.
Masochism is sexual arousal from experiencing painful sensory stimulation. Guys into flogging see 19 are sadists. Guys who enjoy getting flogged are masochists.
This can be misleading, however, because someone may have kinks that do not fall under these terms. For instance, a guy may be exclusively into fisting see 13 or forced tickling. Someone takes charge and the other person submits. The take-charge person is the Dom, or Dominant. Naturally, switches pair up best with other switches. For instance, watersports see 17 is a scene that many people are into. Debate occurs because the term is also used to mean the actual playtime between a Dom and sub.
By this second definition, a scene begins when a sub and Dom start to play. While the length of time that scenes last vary based on pre-established limits, scenes typically have defined beginning and end points.
A limit is the point beyond which you do not allow Dominants to go. For instance, drinking urine is a soft limit for this writer — an act not done in most circumstances, but perhaps for special occasions like this year's Folsom Street Fair. Soft limits may change over time. Safe Word Safe words are vital for beginners and experienced kinksters alike. A safe word is a word or phrase that submissives use to stop a scene. Like hard limits, safe words are nonnegotiable. Leather Leather is the most popular fetishized material, with rubber as a close second.
Many guys get excited by the look and feel of leather clothing, boots, harnesses, and other gear. And it's unfailingly one of the most erotic. Bondage involves making a submissive helpless and immobilized. This can be done with rope, handcuffs, leather cuffs, chains, stocks, and mummification see CBT Cock and ball torture. This includes ball-stretching stretching the scrotal sac so that it hangs lower by using weights and other devices to pull on it and ball-bashing, which is exactly what it sounds like: E-stimulation see 14 is also commonly used for CBT — especially for cock torture.
This is the practice of slowly stretching open the anus with fingers until the whole hand is inserted. With practice, skilled fisters guys who give fists and fistees guys who take them can go all the way to the elbow and even the shoulder — or get double-fisted. Novices generally start with toys and dildos and work their way up. Fisting is not for beginners. When done incorrectly, fisting can cause severe injury.
If this is something you want to try, go slowly and use lots of lube. While it may sound extreme, fisting is one of the most erotic and intense experiences you can have with someone and can produce the most mind-blowing orgasms when done correctly.
This is another kink that is not for beginners. Professionally made electrical units have to be used. Puppy Play Puppy play is one scene in the world of kink that is growing rapidly in popularity.
Puppy play is part of a group of scenes that fall under the umbrella of Animal Training or Animal Play, in which submissives act like animals. Pony play and kitty play also fall into this category. In puppy play, the Dominant is called the Owner or Handler, and the submissive is called the pup. During the scene, pups stereotypically act like dogs — they bark, walk on all fours, and come when called when they feel obedient.
While there is no standard way to do puppy play, most pups and handlers agree that the power dynamic is very relaxed and playful. This scene typically involves very hardcore BDSM and domestic service from the slave, with lengthy playtimes — some slaves and Masters practice live-in, scenes. Piss Play Also called watersports, piss play fetishizes urine.
Guys into this scene enjoy getting peed on or drinking piss. Since actual canine pups pee on everything, a lot of guys into puppy play are also into piss play. Candle Play Candle play is hardly a scene of its own, but we're sure that somewhere out there is a sadistic guy exclusively into using candles to drip hot wax on submissives to create a painful sensation that typically does not leave long-lasting marks or long-term damage.
Depending on the severity, flogging can feel like anything from a back massage to an extremely painful experience. Edging Edging or edge play involves dominant guys withholding orgasm from a submissive. Nipple Torture Nipple torture typically involves using devices like nipple clamps, suction clamps, clothespins, needles, and mousetraps on the nipples in order to create a painful sensation, but using hands and teeth work fine too.
Chew and suck for hours of enjoyment. Remember, however, that everything in kink is consensual. All scenes — even intense and long-lasting interrogation ones — are eroticized pretend games that Doms and subs enjoy together. These devices keep a penis from getting hard, so by extension they keep you from achieving orgasm or pleasing yourself.
Mummification This is a particular form of bondage in which the whole body is wrapped in some kind of material — typically plastic wrap. Since this form of bondage is completely immobilizing, it is not for beginners. Hanky Code The hanky code is a longstanding sexual color code that has been around since the s. The color code is pretty extensive and includes various kinks and fetishes, and is still used today by gay clothing brands like Nasty Pig and CellBlock 13 — and, obviously, by kinky gay men.
Negotiation When you meet a kinky guy that you are interested in, it is important for you two to talk honestly and clearly discuss what kinks you both enjoy, what you are both looking to do, what limits must be adhered to, and what safe words will be used. Contracts cannot be legally enforced, and will not hold up in court. They are simply written documents outlining and clarifying the parameters of the relationship, and typically list what safe words and limits will be adhered to.
Play should always be safe: And above all else, play must be consensual. This is why safe words and hard limits must be respected: Keep these three words in mind and you will find yourself part of an awesome community of people into more kinks than you can possibly imagine. Welcome to the ball.