I don't want to even begin to admit that this might be true, but I can't ignore it. I am a long time redditor and I have created an account to keep this as anonymous as possible.
Without going in to details, the activity has been going on for about 2 years, and is more than innocent exploration, but less than all out sexual abuse I confronted my older son last night and he ran away. I found him in the woods and talked him back in. His mother is destroyed. She can't even look at him. If I don't figure out what to do, I think my son may try to kill himself. But it has been a pretty shitty past 18 hours. I guess just pray for us.
I am just sitting here at work, holding back tears, trying to figure out what is going on back home because the three of them are on school break. I just don't know how life can ever be the same again, it wasn't great before, but now it is unbearable. My first reaction to this was, as many of you point out, "we need to get professional help" My wife's reaction to my saying that was "any professional who helps out HAS to report this to the police" I don't know enough about this to know if this is true or not We are not a particularly religious family.
I am not very religious at all, though I do believe in God. My wife is very religious and is having a very difficult time dealing with what she thinks is a "pervert" living in her house. My kids are somewhere in between. It is hard to get details from either of my sons, I tried last night, but the level of what we are talking about is worse than playing doctor, but better than some fraternity initiations I just don't know what is true any more.
Is my youngest lying? Is my oldest lying? Is my wife lying about what the youngest told her but didn't tell me? I should also add that I was abused as a child by a neighbor, so I actually know what that is like I didn't abuse any of my kids and a hearty "fuck you" to the trolls who suggest that I did or that I should and my oldest insists that he hasn't been abused.
My son's friend next door introduced pornography to my oldest a little too early in his life to be able to handle it I think 11? They are the same age and I don't know what impact that might have had. I didn't think it was a big deal, and when I caught him looking at it I said "You are lucky that your mother didn't catch you" When I pressed him why he would do something like this that he knows is wrong, he said he was curious I want to think that this is in the range of "normal" when it comes to stuff that goes on today.
You hear that "Oral sex is the new goodnight kiss" and I have to wonder what is right or wrong anymore. My wife refuses to go to counseling. I keep calling home to see if she is "OK" but she gets angry and tells me to fuck off, that this is all my fault for being emotionally unavailable.