You get home from the bar with your date. To discover each other's bodies. To eat of the fruits of passion. In short, to have sex. You stick the key in the lock, swing the door open, and invite her into your beautiful place. OK, well it might not be exactly beautiful. It might be a bit of a mess, frankly. But you don't let that ruin the moment. You turn around and passionately kiss her. How the two of you make it to your bedroom with some clothing still on is anybody's guess.
You jump on the bed and hurriedly strip. God — can't this go any faster, you wonder? And then it happens. You're about to have sex for the first time with your date, who's truly beautiful. All you want to do is present your glorious, super strong erection and let it do the talking.
And yet when you look down, you're limp instead of hard. Every element you could possibly need for an erection is here. Nudity, beauty, passion, the tantalizing thrill of boning someone for the first time, and a little bit of booze to take the edge off.
What on earth is wrong and why are you so unlucky? You turn to your date. Whether with a date or a long-term partner, situations like this happen to guys all the time all over the world, morning, noon and night, and rare is the man who can blow them off without his confidence being affected at least a little bit.
But why do these moments happen? And what can be done to ensure they don't reoccur? Let's look at some of the factors that could be responsible. There are always those who claim to know imaginative, surefire sober-up techniques, but that's all bunk. Once you're intoxicated, only time's going to sober you up. Hang back on the drinks if you plan on engaging in some action later. So if you sense you're starting to tie one on, switch to drinking water halfway through the night.
Who needs alcohol when you can have sex? You're On Meds There are some everyday meds that can affect a man's ability to get an erection. In fact, there are a host of medications that could be to blame. If it's something you take for acute symptoms, like cold medicine, try taking a lower dose or simply going without it when sex is concerned.
If it's something prescribed, ask your doctor for advice before cutting it down or out. Your health is important and going off your meds simply to get it on could have serious effects on you. Whichever way it happens, your body is run down and probably in no condition for sex.
Take care of your body before you try to have sex. Eat, take a nap, veg out for a little while after work. Recuperate a little bit before giving it a go. There's no sense in running yourself into the ground trying to seem like a sex god. If your sex life is suffering as a result of erection troubles, health issues of some sort are often the root cause.
Health problems that are serious enough to effect your sex life will definitely be causing you other problems, too. Don't wait until they're drastic before you take action. Coffee And Cigarettes Caffeine and nicotine are major impediments to your penis getting hard. No coffee before sex — and, while you shouldn't really smoke, period, if you're going to, save the cigarette until afterward. You're Distracted This is a simple one, but it's still a possibility.
Institute a "no disturbance" policy. This means turning off your phone, not answering the door and shutting off the TV You Feel Guilty Maybe your performance issues stem from feelings of discomfort relating to something you've done.
Maybe your conscience is what's wreaking havoc with your sex. If you're truly consumed by guilt, the trick isn't to figure out how to ignore that guilt, the trick is to deal with those feelings of guilt, and what's producing them. This is the only way you can get your guilty conscience to stop punishing you. Keeping it a secret might be saving you an awkward conversation in the short term, but in the long term, it could be seriously undermining your sex life.
If your sex partner is doing something that disturbs you, let them know. Take some time to talk about which behaviors or techniques are bothering you. Once you're both on the same page in terms of your pleasure, your penis will come back out of hiding. You Suffer From Performance Anxiety If you landed an exceptionally attractive partner, someone you feel is "out of your league," you could be intimidated by their looks alone.
Or, it could simply be that it's someone you don't know very well and you're nervous about impressing them. If either of these things impact your lovemaking skills, you are suffering from performance anxiety. Close your eyes and relax. If you're overly nervous, you may have triggered your sympathetic nervous system , the so-called "fight or flight" reaction your body has in intense situations.
So go back to the foreplay stage. Let your instinct take over. Remember; she's a person, just like you.