September 30, In , Madison published a juicy tell-all memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole: On sex … Holly: I could guess her reasoning: It seemed to me that she made it her mission to lure every new Playmate up to the bedroom to pay their dues. I guess Vicky figured that if she had to sleep with Hef, they should all have to sleep with him. On the show … Holly: We were the decorative icing, not the cake. According to our boyfriend, he could have splashed any three blondes on-screen and found instant success.
You are molded into a character based on some of your strongest traits, and you are forced to stay that way for your entire television life. On Hugh Hefner Holly: I felt so trapped and so vulnerable to his criticisms.
Even though I hardly knew him yet, I saw a sweet man who made me feel really good about myself — a true gentleman. It was weird, but in my heart, I felt like he was someone I could possibly trust. On relationships with the other Bunnies Holly: She came on so aggressively I worried she might hit me.
We did our thing off camera, and there was an unspoken competition for camera time when the cameras were around. Each of us wanted the others to look good and be successful, but whether they will admit it or not, I think we each wanted the spotlight and to look the best in every episode.
Wish you were here! I felt so trapped and angry when I was missing out on something good. She was used, unappreciated and struggled to find herself. She may have been publicly adored, idolized and lusted after, but she felt alone and trapped. Fans see you as the girl next door, tabloid editors see you as a story line and paparazzi see you as a target.
At the end of the day, they are all wrong. On physical appearances … Holly: I was disappointed in myself. I had this whole mansion and a great life to enjoy, and all I was doing was lying around and eating. I felt so lazy and miserable. On living in the mansion … Holly: I rarely left the mansion, so making it home in time for curfew was never an issue either. She and I had issues — our personalities totally clashed — and she was trying desperately to take my place, and for some reason Holly and Bridget were on her side.
They all had a pact that they were going to stick together and get rid of me. On dating other men … Holly: I needed to have my own life, or I would have gone crazy.