Click to print Opens in new window There is nothing that can reduce an otherwise well adjusted, intelligent adult to an awkward, irrational mess like sex. The bottom line is you often end up horribly confused with a bunch of bush in your face and not a whole lot else to show for it.
Providing the perfect cover for me to rush out the door before they wake up. A conundrum that in my mind has become the classic catch I was at a party the other day discussing this very conundrum with a friend who is beautiful, accomplished and not single. You gave up all the power and now they will lose interest. I understand why we all say things like this about when to have sex but we should stop and instead focus on ideas like this: Power is being confident, positive and engaging.
Being a dynamic, thoughtful adult is. Let someone get to know your body the way they get to know your mind. Reveal things, show them around, be playful — but most importantly you dictate the timeline. The takeaway here is: They get nervous, and just like any coordinated activity, some couples need time to sync with each other.
Be patient, say what you want, and have fun. If you accidentally head butt — laugh. Humor in bed is sexy! It will happen eventually. There are some things that are the equivalent of a black flag during the Indy Many will cause you to be uncoordinated and emotionally checked out. Remember, the end game here is to eventually have sex sober. You want to scale back the cocktails until you feel perfectly comfortable hoping into bed, with the lights on, looking at each other and then going for it.
If this seems like it could never happen, probably put your panties back on now and head for the door. Your eyes flutter open a slit and you take a quick look around. There is something warm next to you. Suddenly your eyes snap open, you go completely stiff and and basically stop breathing. This could mean the other person in the bed is clinging to the edge with about two feet of space between you or it could mean you are wearing them like a human backpack.
To the ladies like me, I feel you. You had a great time, you might even like them, but you need to get the fuck out of there. You need a glass of water, a shower and a toothbrush. What you need right now is an exit strategy and you need it fast. I feel vulnerable and I want to put some clothes on. I need to get into my own space and digest the previous evenings events and then get back to you with my thoughts. I will say that most people are as bad, if not worse than I am at the next morning.
Tactfully offer your sleepover guest a toothbrush. Everyone wants to brush their teeth in the morning or before bed but asking for it sounds like moving in. Going from touching someone on their insides to not being able to make any kind of physical contact in the morning makes you weird.
Do text them that day. Tell them you had a great time. They just exposed themselves to you and got naked. Keep it in perspective. Try to stop the involuntary pedal-to -the-metal emotional reaction that occurs after sex. On that same note, if they ran out of your house like they were being chased by the hounds of hell remember this, mornings are horribly fucking awkward.
Cut them some slack. Work at it and stay honest about it, the before and the after both with her and with yourself. Alright enough of all these pointers and philosophies about the politics of sex.