By Davey Wavey, Founder of Himeros. Back in the day, men who were attracted to men had to find alternative ways to connect: Are men still hooking up in the gym locker rooms? Just picture it… You just spent 90 minutes working out, releasing endorphins and getting sweaty. You finish up and step into the locker room, a place filled with testosterone and naked men. There is something arousing about this communal setting. It is difficult to not feel stimulated by the atmosphere of manliness.
Presently, with all the access to apps on our smart phones, men need not search far for a sexual connection. So, with all the sex clubs, bathhouses and gay bars shutting their doors because men have easier options to get laid, has the gym locker room gone astray? I would say no. I asked several men from ages 21 to 60, all of whom attend the gym on a regular basis, and the results I received were promising. Men are still sexually mingling with each other in the locker rooms.
The feedback I collected was that there is still plenty of cruising going on, men are checking each other out while in stages of undress. None of them have doors at my gym, so I get to see each man. Most of the time we will give each other a show and jerk off for each other.
He said he will regularly go into the handicap stall and perform oral sex. However, he said he even gave a blow job during the evening rush! Recently, I had a man come in for a Somatic Sex Coaching session. He mentioned to me that he was feeling uneasy about all his activities at the gym which did not include being on the elliptical machine.
He brought up the fact that he was jacking off in the shower while other men were watching. Also mentioning that, sometimes, other men will have orgasms with him. He was feeling some shame around that behavior because of all the recent publicity about men being called out for exposing themselves. I invited him to examine all of this. Most of the men he was stroking in front of were doing the same in return; it was consensual. He mentioned there was never any physical contact with other men, he just really gets aroused by masturbating with other men in a public place, like a shower in the gym.
He said that he only will do it with men who are responsive, if men do not look interested he will not even try to do it. He loves the feeling of being viewed and masturbating in a place that is brimming with masculinity. I suggested that even though there may be some consequences to his actions, someone might freak out or he may lose his gym membership. We currently live in a climate where sex is being vehemently demonized. I was not giving him permission to act a fool, I was just suggesting he enjoy his body and his sexuality.
I mentioned that there are places like the gay bathhouses or sex clubs, that are designed for acting out these fantasies. But he enjoys his amusement at the gym showers! Jake, a 21 year old student at UC Berkeley, said that at the end of the day after classes he hits the gym. He lives with 4 other students in a 2 bedroom. His alternative to quietly masturbating in his shared bedroom is going to the gym and checking out the other men.
Jake mentioned that he really loves the evening crowd of men at the gym. Next time you finish with that spin class take a jaunt over to the locker room and see what new adventure awaits you!