Unfortunately, at home she tends to de-pants enroute, and when I told her she could head to the restroom by herself at the frozen yoghurt place, she dropped her pants and started waddling her bare backside down the hall to the bathroom. Maybe we should protest and tell her that her son is likely to be a rapist and may start groping the women while he is waiting for her.
TRS February 4, at 8: I have 12 yo daughters and I know they would be mortified to see one of their male classmates in the bathroom or shower room. That is 7th grade! Annette February 4, at 8: Any older than that and he would either send her alone into the ladies or ask a complete stranger gasp to help her while she was in the ladies. Not that security guards are infallible, but it means there IS a person there actually being paid to watch out for trouble.
Every other person on the planet is a potential rape suspect, but not HER little angel. Becky February 4, at 8: LisaS February 4, at 8: When exactly does she plan to allow him to grow up? And yes, I would be mortified, and my daughter 11 would refuse to go in. Selby February 4, at 8: Nicole February 4, at 8: Hittman February 4, at 8: I figured it would probably just increase her paranoia, so I kept my mouth shut. Aimee February 4, at 9: If I have to go, he comes with me, but generally uses his own stall now.
My gym has a locker room that only allows boys 4 and under in, and while I understand that locker rooms have a lot more nudity than your average public restroom, I thought 4 was a good time to start giving him a little independence in this area. Warren February 4, at 9: I raised two girls, and the use or public bathrooms was a given up until they were in Junior Kindergarten.
Once they were in JK, it was ok off you go. Before then, out of respect for other men, and for my girls, I would seek out the bathrooms like those at a coffee shop, that once you entered, you were the only one in there.
I guess I would be shunned by the helicopter parenting crowd because when I was alone with my son in a pubic place, and he had to use the bathroom, I would ask a man going in usually one with a kid to keep an eye on him.
One time I happened to be looking in and a man was lifting my son up to help him reach the soap. There are too many potential witnesses.
Molestation is usually done in a private place. Child molesters also take time to groom their victims. Irina February 4, at 9: After all, they went on their own at school, so why not in the department store? If they needed to be lifted to reach the tap, there was usually a helpful woman around that they could ask. Laura D February 4, at 9: Andrew February 4, at 9: Daven February 4, at 9: He has autism but few mannerisms that would suggest a difference; he just looks like some kid standing there and high anxiety and irrational fears and is terrified of the flushing sounds and usually refuses.
I wish he would use a public restroom on his own. He has mastered smaller places like churches and coffee shops and small libraries; bigger places like shopping malls and museums and large libraries are still a bust. He has improved much already, but it takes patience.
Maria February 4, at 9: Before that, if there was a family restroom or a one-person restroom I let him go by himself from the time I knew he could handle everything on his own — 6, maybe?
I used to make him wait for me close to the entrance to the ladies room, which he found humiliating at 7 or 8. I was more concerned with the highly likely risk of him wandering off than potential kidnappers.
The kid in the story sounds like he was trying to hide. Have you tried finding the family restrooms in larger places? Most of them have them.
Lola February 4, at 9: Just when it was going to be their turn, the inevitable: So I asked Mum if it was okay with her if my 8 yo daughter took her. Kara Nutt February 4, at 9: Elizabeth February 4, at 9: What is his mother going to do if he chooses to go to college?
Karen February 4, at 9: Amber February 4, at 9: But they are 5 and a half now, and it is most definitely always men now. I do usually stand by the door, and if it is taking too long, I do crack it open and call to see if he is okay. But my concern is more that he is playing in the sink then anything. On the other hand, good for you encouraging him to overcome his anxieties.
Lisa February 4, at 9: My son is 2. So I have a bit of a twist on this scenario, from something I witnessed this weekend. I was at a major sporting event in an arena on Saturday afternoon.
Tons of families, tons of hockey fans. Apparently the boy had lost his mother in the crowded chaos and had started to cry. The boy was confused and scared.
The man was really calm with the kid and explained that he would continue to help him find his mom. They decided to go to the refreshment counter and ask the staff for help. When I came out of the restroom, I saw that a few arena employees with walkie talkies were with them, and the boy asked the man to stay with him while they went to the missing persons area.
The kid was brave enough to ask for help, and an adult helped him. I am quite sure the boy found his mom, and I hope that after the stress and panic of the situation settles down, they can both come through this learning experience with new-found confidence.
I would expect that if you talk to people who work at large sporting events, you would find that this sort of thing happens more than once per event. Which is just to say that all-in-all, people really are good.
Heather February 4, at 9: He certainly has his own stall in the ladies, and queues properly. Weirdly, at home he insists on company when he goes to the loo. H Jaime February 4, at 9: I never go into the stall with them — I think that stopped when they were about 3. My 7 and 9 year olds are on their own. I would worry about the psychological damage that might be done to my 9 year old son if he was forced into the ladies room in such a loud and public manner.
He was embarrassed and prevented from toileting himself because his mom has irrational fears. Of all things that are therapy-inducing, this must be up there pretty high.
SteveRSOonline February 4, at 9: Jake February 4, at 9: Emily February 4, at So, why would anyone want to encourage these kids to be independent at school, but treat them like incompetent babies the rest of the time?
Amanda Matthews February 4, at In non-public restrooms, everyone uses the same restroom. At what age are they okay to go in again; what about teen parents? But despite all that, I do think it is right for kids to use the bathroom on their own. Stacey February 4, at Maybe that causes me to be a bit more relaxed, but I have to say, even 17 years ago, when I only had one and she was 3, I was a free range type of parent. She played on the playground several doors down from my townhouse.
She is now a well adjusted young wife, about to become a mother herself her husband was raised by a member of the secret service who was paranoid about everything, so we shall see how that plays out…. Currently, my six year old goes to the mens room alone. Has for about a year now. Kids are bubble wrapped these days and I fear for the kind of adults we are going to have in the next years.
JJ February 4, at This is a small gym facility not at a school. The boys are