Are you his sex toy or his next girlfriend? View Larger Image Are you his sex toy or his next girlfriend? This can be quite tricky because some people are willing to go to any measure, including selling white lies about a happy future together, just to get the girl in bed. I have asked many of my male friends about this, and almost all told me that when they first meet a girl, they can tell within the first hour of talking to her if she will be just a fling, or a future girlfriend.
Luckily there are a few hints at the beginning, which let you know and feel if he only wants you for sex, or to be his girlfriend. My friend Sandy had to learn this the hard way. Half a year ago she met a guy at a bar, and they hit it off quite well. They talked for a while, and ended the evening by kissing, but Sandy went home alone. The next week on Tuesday he wrote her, asking to meet on Wednesday. They met on Wednesday and had dinner, went for drinks and then she took him home.
Still, Sandy was lusting for him, and his smell played havoc with her brain. He was smart enough, but not the most intelligent man for deep conversations, so the dates were not the best ones she had. This was horrible for her because they had sex for the first time together. She wrote him a sweet sms, and it took him days to answer! She refused to listen to me. This fling lasted for 3 months of them seeing each other once a week, never on the weekends, and not getting closer emotionally at all.
Sandy became sad and tired of his ways, and told him that this was not going anywhere. He just let her go and she never heard from him again. She later found out that he had many other girls, with whom he was doing the same thing at the same time. Here are two lists to show you the difference of what he really wants from you: If he wants you only for sex or a fling: He will text you only when he needs to fill his time once or twice a week, or is feeling hot and horny and needs a release.
He keeps the communication to a minimum, only enough to keep you hooked and get sex from you. When you meet him, you feel that your time together is very limited.
He might even change the topic of conversation, or react inadequately to something that bothers you. He does everything only for his convenience, and goes only where he wants.
He speaks mostly about himself, his life, his hobbies and his passions. When going out together, his eyes will be darting all over the place, looking at other women. If he wants you to be his girlfriend: He will write and call to see how you are doing — usually everyday, or every second day — because he cares and wants to stay in contact with you. He writes longer sentences, because he wants to keep a strong and constant communication with you. He makes enough time to see you and be with you, because he wants to have you by his side.
He respects your wishes because he wants to keep you by his side. He takes you to meet his friends, and also to meet his family. Even if he hates the opera, street fests, or a certain party, restaurant or bar, he will go there with you because he knows that you like it, and it will make you happy. He will have eyes only for you, and you wont see him constantly looking at other women. Open your eyes and hearts, and see what he really wants from.
The best is to ask him what his intentions are for you. Straightforward communication is always important. We are women, and have a strong intuition. But we lie to ourselves thinking that we can make him see our inner beauty and fall in love with us, and this is how we get hurt.
So next time please keep your antennae up to see what he really wants from you. You deserve real love.