My boyfriend never initiates sex anymore. Husband doesn't initiate sex and I feel unwanted.



My boyfriend never initiates sex anymore

My boyfriend never initiates sex anymore

We waited 6 months until we had sex because I was a virgin at the time, and the first few months, he initiated. I have confronted him about it twice now, and nothing. It makes me feel so unwanted. I have got to the point now where I feel uncomfortable doing anything, because of it.

It makes me feel beggy. He has never been really spontaneous, and has quite an old fashioned sex drive I feel. He never wants to do anything really exciting. He doesnt like dirty talk, doesnt like going down on girls, and isn't very kinky in general. I kind of got over this, however now I am always the one to initiate, I am not cool with it anymore.

He mentioned to me that it was better when he was at university, as we had our own space we live at home still and most of the time we had sex was after a night out. He shouldn't need a few drinks to initiate with his girlfriend of 2 years. We went through a stage a few months ago where he kept on going soft during sex because he was pushing himself too far and then pulling out because he wanted it to be longer, and better for me.

However, this really upset me, as i obviously got self-consious about it. That has now gone, but he still has to pull out to stop himself from cumming too quickly. I stopped initiating and we didn't have sex for 3 weeks, and then I gave in.

He has also said to me that he is used to me initiating and has got lazy. But, I think he is just making excuses all the time, and that there is an underlying problem. He hasn't even told me he loves me! I know he does, because he blurted it out to my bestfriend on a drunk night that he did. But he has never once said it to me. Can anyone help, I am at the end of my tether at the moment. He always kisses and hugs me, and we get along so well.

I do not want to leave him, I just want to resolve this issue.

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7 Reasons Your Boyfriend Doesn't Want Sex



My boyfriend never initiates sex anymore

We waited 6 months until we had sex because I was a virgin at the time, and the first few months, he initiated. I have confronted him about it twice now, and nothing. It makes me feel so unwanted. I have got to the point now where I feel uncomfortable doing anything, because of it. It makes me feel beggy. He has never been really spontaneous, and has quite an old fashioned sex drive I feel. He never wants to do anything really exciting.

He doesnt like dirty talk, doesnt like going down on girls, and isn't very kinky in general. I kind of got over this, however now I am always the one to initiate, I am not cool with it anymore. He mentioned to me that it was better when he was at university, as we had our own space we live at home still and most of the time we had sex was after a night out. He shouldn't need a few drinks to initiate with his girlfriend of 2 years. We went through a stage a few months ago where he kept on going soft during sex because he was pushing himself too far and then pulling out because he wanted it to be longer, and better for me.

However, this really upset me, as i obviously got self-consious about it. That has now gone, but he still has to pull out to stop himself from cumming too quickly. I stopped initiating and we didn't have sex for 3 weeks, and then I gave in. He has also said to me that he is used to me initiating and has got lazy. But, I think he is just making excuses all the time, and that there is an underlying problem.

He hasn't even told me he loves me! I know he does, because he blurted it out to my bestfriend on a drunk night that he did. But he has never once said it to me. Can anyone help, I am at the end of my tether at the moment. He always kisses and hugs me, and we get along so well.

I do not want to leave him, I just want to resolve this issue.

My boyfriend never initiates sex anymore

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3 Comments

  1. Insecure attachment can manifest in parenting issues and children triggering your own unresolved attachment issues with your parents. Go through the book with him and encourage him to do the exercises. Learn the secret to make them so turned on that they can't resist you!

  2. Advertisement Advertisement As a rare-initiater of sex, I know it must be incredibly frustrating to be on the other side of the barren sex desert.

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