Women not only appreciate a giving lover, but they also value someone who is willing to demonstrate the movement, the variation and the endurance they need when it comes to making sure they are not only pleased but exhausted after foreplay.
Oral sex for women is a completely different beast than it is for men. While you need a happy medium between hard and soft, fast and slow, suction and licking, what she needs is a balancing act, too. So how do you making oral sex a great experience for her?
For Sarah and for most women, their past oral experiences always resulted in a guy nodding to his member, demanding a tit-for-tat. Why the expert says this is hot: AASECT-certified sexuality counselor and certified clinical sexologist Dawn Michael says many women struggle with the ability to let go when someone is going down on them.
Instead of circling your tongue to find her sweet spot or mindlessly fingering her until she pushes you on her to begin sex, try something new: Curl the tops of your fingers and apply pressure to hit her G-spot. Lift her legs higher, wider or in other directions until you hear her respond. This will help her get out of her head and release any tension that might prevent her from finishing. Michael says that any direct clitoral stimulation or repeating the same motion over and over again will help get your partner to relax and begin to be turned on.
When you throw in different moves that are also stimulating, you take the oral sex game into a whole other world.
Imagine just rubbing the head of the penis without the shaft — that would be similar to rubbing just the head of the clitoris without rubbing the legs. Most women need both penetration and oral to fully achieve the highest amount of pleasure. And maybe even help you with the maneuvering once she sees how amazing the different techniques feel when combined. Use your hands before using your mouth.
Really, really passionately kiss her. And then start with your hands before you venture down south. Remember the time before you started having sex when you were still at the makeout stage? Sure, you likely made grabs for other regions and pushed as far as your high school girlfriend would let you, but what was so intense about those first fleeting moments of innocence was this sense of discovery. But, unlike when you were a kid, you can really turn up the kissing ante to make it even sexier with your now-mature skills: Even expressing this will make her feel more comfortable, more connected and more up for round two and three and four.
Different strokes for different folks is always true, but consider this: Or was it when she massaged her breasts, smiled, locked eyes with you, moaned and touched herself, all while making sure you finished? The next time you go down on her, try moaning as you open and close your mouth.
Showing her that her pleasure means a lot to you — even more than your own pleasure — is a sure-fire way to guarantee that hot sex is in your future together. You can research different toys and try them out to see what kinds work for you.
A great place to start, recommended by many experts, is talking to your partner about the ways her oral sex experience could be better. You can shop together at a sex toy store or online if you feel uncomfortable discussing things-that-require-batteries in front of strangers. WeVibe makes great vibrators for couples that are easy to use and will make your sex even hotter.
One example is the We-Vibe Fling. You can use it during intercourse as an added stimulation to her G-spot and clitoris, or with oral sex. Simply insert one side of it into her vagina and let the other side vibrate on top. But while you might get a little trigger happy when you begin using a vibrator on your girlfriend for the first time boys will like their toys, right?
Just like the tip of you, the tip of her is very sensitive, too. Plus, for most women, the time it takes to orgasm is often longer than the time it takes for their male partner to achieve the goal.
Just like the first time you started having sex with one another, when you first started dating, you had to get a lot wrong before you got it right. Does she get turned on when I lick her faster or slower, and where exactly matters the most to her? Does she get closer when I use my fingers or when I use my fingers and my tongue? Taking the time to listen, respond and react to your partner will help make the experience stronger and hotter for both of you.
The willingness to learn and the ability to adapt are two things that will mean more to your girlfriend than doing the exact right thing.