The contents of this article may be offensive to some people. Last night, we were verbally playing out an anal scenario.
This brought up two specific issues for me. What is good sex-toy etiquette? Can you use sex toys in one relationship and then in the next one? They died with the relationship. Is it different with heteros? Can you recycle sex toys with your recycling like you would other plastic products?
But when asked why sex toys have to be discarded after a lesbian breakup, Claire could only offer this dyke-ass mumbo jumbo: They belong to the relationship. Of course not—says the owner of a sex-toy shop. Crone got a hot tip: And since no teeveenewz report about crime is complete without a statement from the authorities, Crone asked the Jackson Police Department for a comment. But when an enterprising teeveenewz reporter goes to all the trouble of conducting an undercover operation to get a dangerous purple vibrator off the streets, why, the least the police can do is arrest the culprits!
Now cynical readers might assume that Ms. Crone, like so many other teeveenewz reporters, was using sex to attract viewers and then exonerating herself and her viewers for their salaciousness by persecuting the owner of the sex-toy shop. And some cynical readers might argue that Ms. Crone is likely to have owned and operated a sex toy or two. Some will want to believe all that about Ms. Crone and everyone else at WLBT are hypocrites for going on the teevee and playing to the prejudices of small-minded, sex-negative assholes while at the same time making folks who do use sex toys—or sell them, or work in places that do—feel ashamed of themselves.
Crone and the whole gang at WLBT in Jackson, Mississippi, sincerely believe that sex toys are a threat to the health, safety, and morals of the general public. Crone would, no doubt, take great satisfaction in personally disposing of all the dangerous three-dimensional devices she could get her hands on. So ship those old sex toys to: E-mail Kandiss at kandiss wlbt.
And so is that web extra I promised of definitions of virginity. And so are those Huckabee definitions. The problem is… there are so many of you, dear readers, and so few of me. And the response is utterly overwhelming when I invite you to weigh in on something.