Sex and intimacy in marriage. Sex and Intimacy.



Sex and intimacy in marriage

Sex and intimacy in marriage

Such a simple question deserves a profoundly simple answer — because they want to share their lives with a spouse in a very intimate way. As humans we yearn to be close to another, to be fully known, yet despite this, to be unconditionally loved.

Of course married love includes sex, as it should, but long married couples will often relate that the sexual part of their relationship is only one of many ways they are intimate with each other. Other forms of intimacy are emotional, intellectual, heart- to- heart conversations, working together at common goals, and spiritual intimacy. True marital intimacy usually involves being honest with your spouse and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

In emotional intimacy a couple shares their joys, fears, frustrations, sorrows and, yes, anger with each other. The challenge is to find ways to do this respectfully. Emotional intimacy is one of the strongest bonders in a marriage. It is violated when a spouse shares intimate thoughts and feelings with a friend, co- worker, or on- line.

Intellectual intimacy comes when spouses share a vibrant life of the mind with each other. It may be discussing a book, movie, or play, dissecting all the nuances of the plot and symbolism.

It might be the high of attending a concert together that stirred your souls. It might be knowing that you share similar opinions on social, political, or religious issues.

Heart- to- heart conversations might be the way that you develop emotional or intellectual intimacy, but sometimes the conversations might not be about anything that momentous. It might just be sharing the stuff of everyday life. What concerns are you carrying about your child? Is there a decision to make about a job or a move?

Sometimes deep intimacy can come without words. It may be a knowing glance as you drive along the highway, and you appreciate the view together, or a long consoling hug when a tragedy strikes your family.

It can also be the feeling of satisfaction when doing yard work, household repairs, or working on a social cause together. Letting your spouse peek into a sliver of that relationship by saying heartfelt prayers of petition or thanks together is the beginning of becoming soul- mates. See, Who Me, Pray? And of course, there is sexual intimacy. This physical intimacy is so special and profound because it lays bare our bodies in their beauty and imperfection for the pleasure of our spouse.

Such a private moment. It celebrates our joy and stirs us out of apathy. The possibility of new life being born from this loving act is a miracle almost beyond comprehension. Being human, we are not perfect. There may be times when trust between spouses is broken. At times like this a couple must reach deeply into their reserve of love, change what needs to be changed, and ask forgiveness. That too, is an intimate act.

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Sex & Marriage (Ep4 of 6)



Sex and intimacy in marriage

Such a simple question deserves a profoundly simple answer — because they want to share their lives with a spouse in a very intimate way. As humans we yearn to be close to another, to be fully known, yet despite this, to be unconditionally loved. Of course married love includes sex, as it should, but long married couples will often relate that the sexual part of their relationship is only one of many ways they are intimate with each other.

Other forms of intimacy are emotional, intellectual, heart- to- heart conversations, working together at common goals, and spiritual intimacy.

True marital intimacy usually involves being honest with your spouse and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. In emotional intimacy a couple shares their joys, fears, frustrations, sorrows and, yes, anger with each other. The challenge is to find ways to do this respectfully. Emotional intimacy is one of the strongest bonders in a marriage. It is violated when a spouse shares intimate thoughts and feelings with a friend, co- worker, or on- line.

Intellectual intimacy comes when spouses share a vibrant life of the mind with each other. It may be discussing a book, movie, or play, dissecting all the nuances of the plot and symbolism.

It might be the high of attending a concert together that stirred your souls. It might be knowing that you share similar opinions on social, political, or religious issues. Heart- to- heart conversations might be the way that you develop emotional or intellectual intimacy, but sometimes the conversations might not be about anything that momentous.

It might just be sharing the stuff of everyday life. What concerns are you carrying about your child? Is there a decision to make about a job or a move? Sometimes deep intimacy can come without words. It may be a knowing glance as you drive along the highway, and you appreciate the view together, or a long consoling hug when a tragedy strikes your family. It can also be the feeling of satisfaction when doing yard work, household repairs, or working on a social cause together.

Letting your spouse peek into a sliver of that relationship by saying heartfelt prayers of petition or thanks together is the beginning of becoming soul- mates. See, Who Me, Pray? And of course, there is sexual intimacy.

This physical intimacy is so special and profound because it lays bare our bodies in their beauty and imperfection for the pleasure of our spouse. Such a private moment. It celebrates our joy and stirs us out of apathy. The possibility of new life being born from this loving act is a miracle almost beyond comprehension. Being human, we are not perfect.

There may be times when trust between spouses is broken. At times like this a couple must reach deeply into their reserve of love, change what needs to be changed, and ask forgiveness. That too, is an intimate act.

Sex and intimacy in marriage

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4 Comments

  1. One of you giving oral sex before you leave for work, petting to climax in the car at a drive-in movie, using vibrators to have orgasms without a lot of foreplay late at night, taking a nap and having a "quickie" before rushing off to a party. Love and sex are like the roots that feed the tree. Have boundaries set around your immediate or nuclear family.

  2. What follows is a brief tour through the world of marital sexuality with a focus on how to understand the issues and strategies to repair the damage. It will allow BOTH partners to feel closer and create a more intimate context in which to resolve other issues.

  3. Keep your connection going through communication, sex, affection, understanding and concern for each other.

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