You know where and how to thrust, which spots are the most sensitive, and how to get each other off at lightning speed. While that can be fun and convenient, it can also take some of the imagination out of things. So Hochberger says to consider literally writing down what you know and then figuring out what you can learn by talking about it.
Does it feel good when I lick you there? Do you like it when I rub your feet softly, or do you like when I rub your feet with more pressure? Sometimes, focusing on non-erogenous zones can be more erotic than engaging in overtly sexual activities. Hochberger suggests buying massage oils and setting the mood by turning off the lights, lighting candles, and getting completely naked. You and your partner might be night owls who get turned on before bed or morning people who are revving to go as soon as you wake up.
But in an effort to keep your sex life surprising and engaging, relationship expert and therapist Dr. Jane Greer suggests switching up the timing of your lovemaking. That can create interference in terms of being able to give oneself over to complete relaxation and pleasure. Advertisement 13 of 30 Take responsibility for your own sexual desire. Fantasize, read an erotic story, watch porn, flirt. Listen to your intuition and find the balance that works for you.
In fact, simply discussing your desires outside of the relationship and your curiosity about others can actually bring you closer together, according to Dr. And that can be a turn-on in and of itself. But these kinds of conversations can also challenge you both to see non-monogamy in a new light.
Just listen to your gut, and communicate with your partner. It might sound like the opposite of sexy at first, but putting sex on you and your S. You can call the reminder whatever you want, but Schewitz says that making the effort to put it on your calendars reminds you to make it a priority. Commit to having sex a certain number of times per week or per month, and follow through with it, no matter how busy or how tired you are.
When the mood strikes, you might not be in your bedroom, candles lit and feeling your absolute most attractive.
You may be sweaty from the gym or walking in from a long day of work when you catch a glimpse of your partner sitting on the couch or stirring tomato sauce, and you suddenly want to jump their bones. Moral of the story: Trust your desires and go with the flow.
If your parents always told you to never go to bed angry, Geter says you might want to make an exception with your partner. Because, as some people already know, angry sex can be really, really hot. Geter says a sexcation — yep, a vacation in which your only plan is to get it on all the time — will recharge your sex life. You may see your doctor twice a year, or meet with your boss once a week.
So why not make time for a regular moment of reflection with your partner to discuss both your relationship and your sexual satisfaction? Sex therapist and expert Dr.
Dawn Michael suggests sitting down and having a check-in once a month. Instead of getting into bed and reading your Kindle or scrolling through Instagram every night, allow your pre-bedtime routine to include discussing fantasies from time to time.
Michael advises, picking your battles wisely will ensure you keep the romance in your sex life alive. Pointing those little things out all the time, instead of just dealing with them, can cause more fights than just not sweating it and doing it yourself.
Part of being in a long-term relationship is developing a sincere level of trust. In the same way you know your partner will be true to his or her word, you should be able to trust how they guide you in the bedroom.
Then, you can let that movement turn into finally touching each other. Experts believe that a huge factor in being able to orgasm is simply breathing. Wagner says that practicing syncing your breath and making each one deep and mindful, like yoga breathing, can build the intensity of your orgasm.
Notice your partner's breathing pattern. How does it look? An expansion of their chest? Begin to bring your breath into the same rhythm. When your breath rhythm is simultaneous, begin to touch each other and maintain synchronous breath through your entire sexual encounter. When it comes to sexual arousal, the fingertips may just be the most underrated body part — their abundance of sensory neurons makes them particularly sensitive. And because so many couples rush through the motions of sex, they can forget that a soft touch can be the most impactful.
So why not talk about it? Sometimes, throwing out the rule book is the best way to recharge your sex life.