Today, I got a text from the male half of one of the couples we played with, saying his wife is now leaving him and using the open relationship as leverage in the divorce. I guess she's saying that she was never a willing participant and he pressured her into it.
He has asked me to make a statement to his lawyer. We only played with them twice and don't know them well, but while arrangements were being made and sex was being had, she very much seemed in charge. She and I texted for days before our second date and she live-texted her masturbating and sent me nudes. Yes, that could be faked, but nothing ever felt off to me. I really don't want to get involved, but she's originally from another country and they have children together.
He could lose everything. What is my obligation here? I occasionally hear from "Christians" who object to my existence. Sometimes I write these "Christians" back and tell them go fuck themselves.
But I also hear from Christians—no quotations marks this time—who don't object to my existence small blessing, whatever, I'll take it but do object to my column.
They've got, you know, qualms. I tell these Christians to read some of my fucking columns—or, if they've already read some, to reread them. Because if you dump all my columns into a pot and boil them down to their essence, you're left with something Christian's should recognize and approve of: The Golden Fucking Rule.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Now my readers may do more shit unto each other than your average Ross Douthat would care to contemplate. But Ross's discomfort with gay double penetration or straight "adventures with other couples" or pan piss play or indy porn festivals doesn't change the fact that what I'm pushing around here isn't the Gay Agenda. It's the Golden Rule—or "the ethic of reciprocity," as the secular humanists call it.
It also applies to cases like yours, LAWS. Because if your spouse was lying during divorce proceedings about something that could result in your losing custody of your kids and possibly never being allowed to see them again and there was someone out there whose testimony could prove your husband was lying, LAWS, you would want that someone to speak up.
You would want that someone to make a statement to a lawyer. You would want that someone to do unto you like that. What you wouldn't want is for that person to shrug and say, "Meh, I don't want to get involved. It's also possible that she sexted you under duress or that her husband was impersonating her. You can only speak to what you witnessed and what you experienced. You aren't being asked to draw any conclusions or issue a ruling. And what you tell this man's lawyer will be weighed against whatever other evidence of pressure, abuse, or coercion is presented to the court.
But your obligation here is clear, LAWS: Finally, LAWS, I'm not a lawyer—maybe a lawyer or two will jump into the comments thread—but divorce proceedings are a matter of public record. Now something can be a matter of public record without being a matter of public interest—unless the divorcing couple is famous or the other or both are elected officials, it's unlikely your statement will come back to bite you.
Still, you may want to speak with a lawyer of your own about the steps you can take to protect your privacy. Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www. Impeach the motherfucker already! Tickets to HUMP are on sale now!