Deathclock, which honestly isn't much of a stretch beyond what they do on the actual show. That's not the weird part. Deathclock, with the band's vocalist Nathan Explosion at the helm, docks at a nearby space station, where they meet the crew of the starship Enterprise from the original Star Trek. And by "meet the crew," we mean " Captain James T.
Kirk has powerful, submissive anal sex with Nathan Explosion , a death metal cartoon character": Continue Reading Below Advertisement Picture that dialogue getting hammered out of the waterlogged, stuttering face of William Shatner. And that also is not the weird part.
Where It Gets Really Weird: This isn't a few paragraphs of jerk-off material -- this is a four-part, 25,word novella, and only 2, words of that are devoted to Nathan Explosion engaging James T.
The author actually does a respectable job of imitating the show's style of absurdist humor, such as a scene wherein Toki, Dethklok's childlike rhythm guitarist with a tenuous grasp of the English language, orders a drink with a small umbrella: Continue Reading Below Advertisement "What?
It's totally brutals," Toki said Make greats album cover. Author, if you're out there, just take out the gangbangs and submit it as a spec script. You were meant for more than this! Xander , the goofball smartass from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, gets stranded en route to dealing with some vampires in Chicago. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Because of the vampire problem in Chicago and a building sexual tension between him and one of the bikers, Xander ultimately decides to move in with the alien humanoid cartoon mice, with predictably sexy results.
Looks like we'll have to make do. Hey, remember when we were impressed by the 25,word epic above? Well, this one is 90 episodes and over 1 million words of lusty sci-fi fan fiction in which Xander gives in to his passion and has sex with a Biker Mouse: It's like a good velvet I think I like fur.
At least tan fur over really hard muscles and under leather and jeans. He moaned, shifting back to do it again. Then he laid down on top of the boy, his tail swishing in the air. That's what caught his attention. He looked back, flicking his tail. There was a second tail. The tail is followed by fur and then full-on Martian antennae, effectively morphing Xander into a Biker Mouse.
Brentwood Television Funnies Continue Reading Below Advertisement It goes without saying that this transformation frees him up to have sex with sentient space motorcycles: He grabbed the tease with his tail, planting him on his bike, face down so the vibrations would tease him.
In case we didn't stress this enough earlier, this fan fiction is over 1 million words long. That's longer than the longest novel in the English language, and it is fueled entirely by the author's desire to see cartoon mice have sex with the nerdy guy from Buffy. Hey, have you ever been so dedicated to a project?
Follow Eric on Twitter , or even better, check out the Webcomic he runs with his brother, Donuts for Sharks. Okay, so the internet is a carnival of obscenity. But it's not like descriptions of ridiculously depraved sex acts are a modern thing.
The Bible has a scene where Lot has drunk sex in a cave with his daughters. And while we're on the subject of religion, there's a surprising amount of sexy Christmas fan-fiction.