If you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. Virginity is a tricky concept. As a culture we've explored it in our films , TV shows , books and classrooms , but we still don't have a clear-cut definition of what it entails or why it's important.
To get more answers to those questions, we asked our female readers to send us their virginity stories -- the good, the bad, the simply "meh. And even though everyone had a story about their "first time," each of those stories is very different.
The diversity of experiences shared with us further underscores the fact that a person's first time can mean a lot of different things. We might be better off if we stopped putting so much emphasis on it.
I kept pushing for it. Until I got it. As soon as I had a naked man writhing on top of me, all I could think was, "God, I hope I never have to do this again! We never talked about if we had "done it" before but I hadn't and I don't think he had either.
I had given guys blowjobs and been fingered and made out with people so I thought "no big deal! Making eye contact was embarrassing for me and making out was weird to do while we were "doing it.
I was not aroused at all anymore and I was seriously wondering if I was asexual or something Afterward, [we] talked about [it] for hours and then by that time I was finally turned on enough that we had enjoyable sex. Well 16 rolled around and we went to a gin and juice party. Unfortunately, I laid my eyes on the hottest guy at the party and then laid down with him on a trampoline. It wasn't magical or the special waterfall I imagined. But, saying I lost my virginity on a trampoline has made for some great conversations.
It was a spring afternoon. We had just gone to the botanic gardens, holding hands the entire time. We made love under a duvet as the sun shone in my bedroom window. It was kind and warm and we are still in love. Paul "He just friend requested me on Facebook" I was On the basement floor. It was his first time too. He just friend requested me on Facebook. Currently I'm 53, happily married for the second time for 26 years.
I was 18 years old. I had a crush on him since first grade. He was out of reach until we started joking about it. Then I asked him what if things [went] there and so, the next day we met up. It was also his first time, so it wasn't uncomfortable or anything.
It didn't hurt at all. The weirdest part was [after] we did it, we got out of the car and we both went our separate ways. I told him, "See ya on Monday at school!
We never dated, but we kept meeting like that for the next three years. I didn't date anyone else. He was my first love and I don't regret one moment of it. The only sad thing is that we weren't even friends. I haven't seen him in ages, but my memories are so great and I love it. My mom gave me a ride to his house.
His parents were out of town and my mom had no clue of course. Things moved along and all of a sudden there we were in his bedroom with music on. We got to the point of either we do or we don't, so we did. As we developed a rhythm, kind of, the doorbell rings, not once but frantically. My first thought was, "Oh my God, it's my mom! He finds his first and runs down to see who it is. Turns out to be a group of his friends who showed up to invite us bowling. We got back to things, finished and the doorbell rings again.
This time it's planned, different friends coming to give me a ride home. These friends turned out to have smoked pot before coming over and proceeded to eat Oreo cookies on white bread dunked in Coke in his kitchen while giggling hysterically. Then they somehow spotted a condom wrapper in the trash. Next of course were high fives and more laughing.
Most UN-romantic night imaginable. I was two months shy of my 16th birthday and instead of the sweet seduction of an R. I was a Diplomat's kid and we had security. I remember his body on top of mine asking me "Are you sure? Not pain but, uncertainty and I asked what no man ever wants to hear: I turned my face and watched [actress] Camilla Bell scream. I didn't even realize 'til it was over that I never even got a kiss out of it. I walked back home, snuck in and showered before falling asleep until my alarm went off for school.
I can't ever look at Camilla Bell without thinking of that time. We did it in the middle of my living room floor. I was squeezing my eyes so tight that both of my contact lenses popped out and we had to stop! I was dating a guy but the only thing he didn't know about me was that I was still a virgin. Every time we made out I made up a silly excuse not to have sex because I was afraid I'd bleed and reveal the embarrassing truth: I say "embarrassing" because I assumed being a virgin at that age was something wrong -- that I was unwanted, ugly, undesirable and therefore, unworthy as a woman, that all the times I had said no to sex because I didn't like the guy or didn't feel confortable with it had made me a prude and that I probably didn't deserve the sex.
I wanted to have sex with [my boyfriend] but at the same time I didn't, because I didn't want him to know my secret. So one day it just happened: I didn't even bleed maybe because I had already broken my hymen masturbating but he didn't notice it was my first time.
I was nervous, I wanted him to feel he was having sex with a "normal" girl thanks, prejudice so I didn't particularly enjoy it. Now I can say I have a very healthy sex life. I'm not ashamed of having sex and I'm not ashamed of my body anymore. Of course, that doesn't mean I needed a man's approval to like myself, but engaging in a very active sex life has made me aware of just how much pleasure the female body is capable of experiencing.
But if people want to wait, let them wait: Do not feel any pressure. Your value doesn't depend on being wanted by others. He was my first love. It was December 30th. New Year's Eve would have sounded much better! But we had been trying for a while.
He finally "got in" that night. There was a blue glow over us. I had a blue lightbulb in the ceiling light of my bedroom. He was a virgin, too. Our friends were downstairs in the living room drinking. Mine was the party house. I had the big "O" on the first try! I was on top. He had a little pain, I did not. I had always heard about [bleeding] but it didn't happen with me. We stayed together until after he graduated, for 2. I was so heartbroken when we split. Other than my husband, he is the only person I've had full on sex with.
We talked a few years ago after 22 years When we talked about our first time he said he remembered the moonlight on me. I had to remind him of the blue light.