This is a question I have been often asked with an expression of guilt. Men physiologically tend to desire sex more than women. Laumann , there are several differences in the sex drive of a man and a woman. Men think about sex more. Men seek sex more avidly. Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction. Women experience orgasms differently than men. But I would add one: Children are more of a distraction to women than men.
I have 5 kids so I think I am 5 times more distracted! But…I love my husband first, most, and forever. That is a reality I need to remind myself of—I love Mark first, more than the kids, work, friends, and everything but God.
I take him for granted as a partner in marriage and parenting instead of making him a priority—a physical priority! My husband loves when I show him physical affection. It is his only love language—one of the main ways he feels cared for by me. So, saying no to intimacy means not loving him well in that moment.
He ends up feeling rejected as a man and as a spouse. But if you love him and want to please him it is not pretending. If your child were hurt would you pretend to have empathy while you hold them?
Instead of pretending, be honest with your husband, and then choose to put him first and have sex anyway!
But I hear you, and I want to love you well. The bottom line is that my husband is wonderful. He fulfills my every need most of the time. Spiritually, he leads and challenges me in my walk with the Lord. Emotionally, he listens and stands by my side when I need him. So, as a wife, I want to fulfill his needs as well, including his physical needs. Get in the Mood. Get in the mood! Send the kids to bed early, light candles, put on some music, have a glass of wine, and turn the lights down low.
If romance is what you need, then do whatever it takes to put some romance in the air. Realistically, we have to realize that not every time we have sex will be magical.
Not every time will have fireworks. And not every time will be as earth-shattering as it seems in the movies. But every time is still a chance to love your spouse well and become more connected with him.
So if I really want my relationship with my husband to continue growing, then I have to intentionally save time and effort to love him well and have sex. You Might Also Like.